Paul Collingwood opens his shoulders to vow best is still to come

I was a bit frightened about doing this interview," Paul Collingwood says quietly, "because it's been a really emotional time. I don't want to be welling up again but it feels really tough. Most of the England team are back from Bangladesh in six weeks but I then go straight to the Indian Premier League and then the Twenty20 World Cup is immediately after that in the West Indies – and it only ends on 16 May." That date is exactly three months today and Collingwood, while acknowledging that his decision to play in the IPL is driven by a huge financial incentive, looks unusually pensive. The iron man in England's batting line-up fiddles with a straw as a whirl of feelings churn through him. It would be easy for him to retreat and deflect attention from an essentially private struggle. But Collingwood is so honest that he describes openly how he misses his wife, Vicky, and his daughters – three-year-old Shannon and Keira, who turns two this week. "I don't usually get emotional. I've been on so many tours I'm used to it by now. But this time it was really hard. We'd spent time together in South Africa and flew back as a family. And over the last three weeks I've been sledging with them every day. It's been brilliant. Usually, when I've been away, the little one just looks at me. Obviously she knows it's dad but she keeps her distance until she gets used to me again. It's different with Shannon, the older one. She just hurls herself at me and it's beautiful. But over the last month I've really got that bond back with both girls. "When I was packing, Shannon asked me where I was going. I said, 'Daddy's going away again,' and, as I was telling her, I was filling up. She said, 'Should I come with you, daddy?' It was one of those terrible moments but then Peppa Pig came on the telly and she was absolutely hypnotised. So I guess that put things in perspective." Collingwood laughs softly. On Friday and Saturday, in Dubai, he will captain England in two Twenty20 internationals against Pakistan, the world champions. He then faces an onerous tour of Bangladesh. A jaded Andrew Strauss, England's Test captain, has been rested. Yet Collingwood, who did more than anyone to help salvage a series draw against South Africa, has taken a different route. "The idea of me having a break was never an option. It wouldn't go down very well if I missed Bangladesh and then played in the IPL. But the strange thing is that I actually feel fresher than ever. I might have had a bad hour leaving home but this is where I want to be. When I was driving to the airport with Vicky I said, 'When I get back with the boys, I'll be absolutely fine.' "I'm really ambitious and I'm in a team which has a great atmosphere. We all just want to progress and that's why, after South Africa, I said, 'That's been my favourite tour by far.' We had good results but the way I performed, and the way the team gelled, meant I came back still raring to go." Collingwood's tenacity helped ­England escape defeat, with nine wickets down, at Centurion and in Cape Town, while he scored 91 in a crushing innings ­victory in Durban. And then in the fourth and final Test in Johannesburg he top-scored in both innings, with 47 and 71, and played with real flair as England's batting ­collapsed around him. Preparing for his landmark tour, Collingwood had stressed his ambitions to ­the England coach, Andy Flower. "I said to Andy, just as the tour began with the Champions Trophy, 'This could be a defining moment in my career. I've always had to work hard for my runs but I believe I can take my batting to another level.' Andy said, 'That's brilliant. The more players we have with that attitude the better.' "At the Champions Trophy I got pushed up to number four and I started doing some ridiculous things in training. Rather than spending time in the nets I would go into the middle and just try to hit the ball into the stands. I remembered how to hit the ball hard and high again. I knew I could clear the ropes if I got half a bat on it." What prompted this sudden desire to hit sixes? "They give us stats on players who have similar roles. For me it was Mike Hussey and Hansie Cronje. We looked at where I was at after 170 one-day games and compared my stats to theirs. And the thing that stuck out was that, although our averages were similar, Cronje had hit 30 more sixes than me. I thought let's give this a go. "I decided to take any fear of the consequences out of my approach. I'm still trying as hard as I can but I'm not gripped by any anxiety. I'm willing to risk more – because it's not actually such a risk if you play a shot with confidence. In the Champions Trophy I didn't score massive runs – but they were quick and important runs. "We beat South Africa in a high-pressure game and I got 82. I thought this is how I want to play from now on. Of course we faced a couple of situations where I had to block it to save the game. But there's now a much broader spectrum to my play. People might think I've played my best cricket but my game is improving all the time." Collingwood's famous obduracy, built on his powers of concentration and resilience, was needed in the Tests. After scoring a relatively rapid half-century in the first innings at Centurion he faced 99 balls while making an unbeaten 26 on a gripping last afternoon. The hours Collingwood ate up at the crease saved England. That performance followed the 5¾ hours Collingwood had batted in the second innings of the first Ashes Test in Cardiff last summer – when England again escaped with nine wickets down. He was equally tenacious against South Africa in the third Test at Newlands as he and Ian Bell rescued a lost cause. "Cardiff felt epic at the time because it was the Ashes but Cape Town was even better. It certainly took more skill because the Cardiff wicket was dead – while at Newlands it seemed as if Dale Steyn was bowling leg-breaks at 90mph. But we got through over by over, hour after hour. I remember quite vividly, after we worked our way through to the new ball, that me and Belly came together in the middle and said, 'OK, this is it. This is the critical time in the whole series. If we can see off 12 overs of the new ball, it's going to be much easier.' I think we got up to 45 overs in the end and once we got the draw it was the most incredible feeling. We had come to South Africa and won the one-dayers and now we couldn't lose the Test series." Their subsequent innings defeat in Johannesburg underlined how fortunate England were to share the series. But Collingwood points out that "this team has real backbone now. And we're ­maturing all the time. When we won the Ashes it wasn't quite a case of us shrugging and saying 'Whoopie-do'. We were happy but we also said 'We want to become a ­better team.' And that's driving me – when you get hurt like we did last time in ­Australia you want to go down there and beat them." England's desire to compete in ­Australia later this year has shaped their decision to allow Strauss to remain at home while Alastair Cook captains the one-day and Test teams in Bangladesh. For Collingwood, having suffered from mental ­exhaustion while leading the one-day side in the past, "it's sensible thinking. I know how much the captaincy takes out of you and it's such a massive year Strauss needed a break. It also gives Cook a chance to lead because you don't get that opportunity in county cricket. But, yeah, it's going to be ­interesting because I don't think ­anyone, even Cooky, quite knows what will ­happen in Bangladesh." England's two Tests against Bangladesh mean that Collingwood and Kevin Pietersen will miss the first five games of the latest IPL series – and yet, coincidentally, they meet in their first match in India. "I go straight to Bangalore, which is KP's team, to join up with Delhi. I think being involved in the IPL last year was another big turning point for me. When I made the decision to sign up 18 months ago I wasn't sure how much longer I'd be playing for England. I thought, 'This might be my pension.' But it's been about so much more. The three weeks I had with Delhi last time totally freshened me up. You're part of a new team, full of world-class players, and I found it so intriguing to watch [Virender] Sehwag, [Gautam] Gambhir, [Tillakaratne] Dilshan, AB de Villiers and Daniel Vettori prepare – and to spend time with them socially." Collingwood is still waiting to make his IPL debut for Delhi as last season he was limited to a role as a squad member. "You can either mope around or argue with the coaches as to why I wasn't playing. But I knew the answer. The guys were on fire and their skill ­levels were exceptional. Dilshan was sweeping it over his head for six. You can learn a lot when you're not playing and that period of watching Twenty20 was ­brilliant for me. I can't wait to get back and to ­actually play some games because I'm far better now." His earlier family heartache now seems like the lament of a different man. "Yeah," Collingwood says with a grin, "I'm already back in the swing of it. You can tell how much I love cricket. I want to keep playing for England and Durham and Delhi as long as I can."