Football transfer rumours: Real Madrid's Kaká on his way to Chelsea?

All that ballyhoo about poppies the other week seems to have convinced André Villas-Boas that the surest way for him to become a hero is to transform himself into a Big Brave Fighting Man and so now, the Sun tells us, he's prepared to go to WAR, no less, with Harry Redknapp, which, come to think of it, doesn't sound all that brave really. Nonetheless, WAR it is. And not over a hill or a principle or a lack of imagination, but over Gary Cahill , if you don't mind. Chelsea need him, Tottenham Hotspur want him, and there's going to be hell to pay. Or as much as Bolton Wanderers can get, anyway. What does Nicolas Anelka make of all this? The Mill imagines him shrugging indifferently. And what does he make of the Sun rumours linking him with a transfer to up-and-coming Chinese club Shanghai Shenhua ? The Mill imagines him shrugging indifferently. And what does he make of news that his manager is going to open up WAR on another front, too? The Mill imagines him shrugging indifferently. Nevertheless, it is a fact, albeit a Daily Mail fact, that Villas-Boas, who apparently believes he'll still be at Stamford Bridge in January, is preparing to do battle with Manchester United for the services of Ricky van Wolfswinkel . Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a cross between a moose and a flying squirrel. And so on. The Mail also tells us that Barcelona are "maintaining their watching brief" for Tottenham's Gareth Bale , which seems like a fancy way of saying they have a telly , particularly as the paper adds "Tottenham will demand around £45m if forced into a sale in the summer and Barça are reluctant to pay that". The Mirror reckons that Real Madrid want rid of Kaká and, on that very subject, have made contact with Chelsea, who will presumably want to make sure someone else is also in for him so they can at least have a rumble over his services. Valencia have a midfielder called Mehmet Topal . Manchester City and, you've guessed it, Chelsea want to wrestle for his services. QPR's player of the season so far, Alejandro Faurlín , has caught the attention of the Mill, Internazionale and Spurs. By coincidence, so has Blackburn's Junior Hoilett. Manchester United have realised that when Nemanja Vidic is not around their defence is as ramshackle as a clamp for an uncastrated sheep, so they plan to do something about it. Udinese's Moroccan defender Mehdi Benatia could be Old Trafford-bound. Carlos Tevez and David Beckham feature in several papers but the Mill is going to ignore those stories in the hope that they will eventually go away .