Internet picks of the week

Movies I Don't Remember Can you remember a film you watched five, 10 or 15 years ago? Chances are, especially if it wasn't a classic or contained a particularly unique plot, only sketchy memories remain. It is in such vague recollections that this blog rejoices. The idea came from TV listings for movies that had very obviously not been watched by the people writing them (we'd never do that at The Guide, of course). The results are occasionally funny – especially the more you know the film – but what's remarkable is how astoundingly forgettable a large percentage of the movies we see (like, say, Tom Hanks woofer Turner & Hooch) actually are. White People Rapping Poorly Holding Marshall Mathers up as a gold standard, this collector of crimes against hip-hop reckons that, according to science, "for every Eminem, there are approximately 598,467 white people that try to rap but can't". Here, we are presented with the irrefutable YouTube evidence and "the best of the worst". It is indeed toe-curlingly bad – from teens who really should have written stuff down before committing lines such as "Ima ride my bike in the motor life" to a webcam and making "stupidly random" raps with bad British accents, to TV commercials that make R Kelly's Trapped In The Closet video look like Citizen Kane. Most terrifying of all is Joe Pesci's offensive, wiseguy attempt at Blondie's Rapture that surely puts him up there with Bruce Grobbelaar in Anfield Rap as the worst MC of all time. Blog roll: Animals GIFCAT Servicing the internet with flashing kitty gifs. Fugly Horse Of The Day Snarking now extends beyond the red carpet to include "poor quality horses" – but in the hope of rescuing many. Obsessive Corgi Disorder Can you be addicted to a dog breed? This site for the comical Welsh low-riders would suggest you can. Daily Squee! Home to regular "Acting like animals" spot in which our furry friends do their best human impressions. Pets Looking At Snow Dogs and cats hypnotised by cold weather. Animal Lookalikes The cat that's a dead ringer for George Takei and the stunning likeness of Big Bird and the Queen. ASPCA Animaland American site for kids, with info on squirrel and duck animal cops. What we learned on the web this week The exotic world of Soviet groceries Swedish meal time is awesome but violent Dexter's most satisfying kills The average journey time of a Boris bike Mel Gibson is the 32nd most loathsome American of 2010 Little Big Planet now available in real world format A visual way to share your nightmares How to fly a paper plane from Germany to California