David Beckham v Manchester United

"In a moment of madness, Beckham forgets the PR advisor’s advice and does 'a Tévez’." Jason Froggett sees a parallel with another former Red Devil Photograph: guardian.co.uk "I just wanted to show Fergie what he is missing," titters Bobbie Cousins, in the first if several entries to feature Becks' oily abs. Photograph: guardian.co.uk "SAF’s verbal brief to the Marketing Team results in a literal translation." Jason Froggett continues to channel Carlos Tévez Photograph: guardian.co.uk Chris Reilly gets extra marks for alliteration: "Beckham hasn't forgotten Fergie's fancy for furiously flinging football boots." Photograph: guardian.co.uk "All is forgiven for the prodigal son, in Becks' (theatre of) dreams ..." There's a touch of the Italian masters to Tetsuro Nagata's effort Photograph: guardian.co.uk "Presenting Fergie's Beauty and the Beast (Ronaldo makes a rather fitting Gaston!)." Does Chris Reilly's second offering mean that Rooney, Ronaldo and Becks are caught in an unholy love triangle? Photograph: guardian.co.uk John Daltrey wants to introduce Beckham, David Beckham: "Q had worked for seven straight years on a hair-dryer advanced enough to melt that old leather face back in Manchester." Photograph: guardian.co.uk "In this week's episode of 'Life Swap' Beckham goes back to United whilst Fergie goes across the pond to LA," haw-haws Oliver Sparrow Photograph: guardian.co.uk "A look back at happier times. You can see why it was with such a heavy heart when Beckham left Old Trafford in 2003." Phil Brown, that's just plain weird Photograph: guardian.co.uk "I can see the headlines now." And thanks to Trevor Savory, so can we Photograph: guardian.co.uk Bert Ayers gets a bit blue with his first offering. "Sir Alex isn't impressed – he was never fooled by the sock" Photograph: guardian.co.uk "Ah, memories ..." Becks' pecs feature again in Bert Ayers next effort Photograph: guardian.co.uk "Sir Alex unveils his plan to fluster Beckham." Bert Ayers thinks Ferguson has missed Golden Balls Photograph: guardian.co.uk "Buster Beckham dreams he scores the winning goal against United, in his latest movie Spicehopper 2." Al Balmer's submission could best be described as 'confusing' Photograph: guardian.co.uk Al Balmer couldn't decide on his caption; and neither could we: "Beckham's ride pimped" ... or "Beckham realised he was barking when he signed up for the Italian Pimp My Ride" ... or "Beckham recalls fondly his first meeting with Sir Alex" Photograph: guardian.co.uk "Despite having had the Portuguese swimwear model and handsome Wayne more recently, the gentle knight never forgot his first love." Handsome Wayne? Really, Nick Tumman? Photograph: guardian.co.uk "Fergie fretting over centre-halves, the DevilDome decked out in protest, Huntelaar and Pato back to form and fitness – all is in readiness. A dazed and confused David Beckham waves the squad good-bye with a plaintive, 'What do you mean, it's not all about me?'" Rob Moline thinks David may only be a bit-part player Photograph: guardian.co.uk "Guns were a-twitchin' in Ol' Trafford. Word was, a man they-had-no-naming-rights-for had some unfinished business ..." We'll leave you to decide who's 'bad' and who's 'ugly' in Brian Corcoran's entry Photograph: guardian.co.uk "Ever the faithful lieutenant, the Neviller knew exactly what to do when Sir Alex said 'Give Becks a nice welcome back'." We started with Tévez and finish Neville, thanks to Thomas Nycz-Losi Photograph: guardian.co.uk