Alexis Petridis: Cock of the walk?

Few items of clothing display the disparity between male and female fashion like the corset. Now that women aren't forced to wear them, they're seen as glamorous and sexy, the province of burlesque stars and Mad Men's voluptuous Christina Hendricks , who modelled one on a US magazine cover . But no one thinks a man wearing a corset is cool. They just think he's fat. While the female corset has undergone a transformation from underwear to outerwear, the male equivalent stays hidden under the clothes, a source of shame, proof of an inability to keep off the lager and crisps. On the evidence of his recent show , John Galliano is trying to change this state of affairs: down the catwalk trooped the models in something akin to properly boned female corsets. One man-corset seemed to have a compartment at the bottom, to house the wearer's penis, which was obviously the breakthrough the male corset has long been searching for. Onlookers gasped as one: "I thought the man corset looked stupid! But the innovative addition of this ground-breaking and attractive 'penis box' has turned it into a must-have. Bring me my credit card! I'll take 15!" Sadly, Galliano's vision has failed to translate to the high street. The only thing the stylist could come up with was this vest, which harks back to the shamefully hidden gut-sucker of yore. You'll have to take my word for it that they exist, and perhaps count your blessings: otherwise, you could just have had your whole weekend, maybe your whole year, ruined by the sight of me sporting a penis-box. • Alexis wears T-shirt, £65, by Equmen, from Figleaves . Jeans, £85, by Nudie, from Liberty . Shoes, £75, by Rocha.John Rocha at Debenhams . Photograph: David Newby. Grooming: Nikki Palmer at Mandy Coakley .