The Rebound

The "rebound" is what your lifeless, smashed body may well do, bouncing 15 inches off the asphalt, having thrown yourself from the top of the nearest tall building in despair at having watched this truly horrendous romcom. Sleek Catherine Zeta-Jones – her eyes as dead as an alligator's – plays Sandy, a super-attractive older mom from the 'burbs who moves to Manhattan with the kids after divorcing her cheating scumbag of a husband. She finds herself drawn to Aram, played by Justin Bartha (from The Hangover), a mixed-up young guy who has had his heart broken. Aram agrees to babysit Sandy's kids while she starts her new job, working at a cable sports channel. Needless to say, Aram's gentle charming nature is a breath of fresh air after the horrible conceited middle-aged bores that Sandy keeps getting fixed up with, and she and Aram embark on a May-to-September romance, each of whose plot transitions feels like getting a tooth wrenched out without anaesthetic. On entering the cinema and seeing this movie on offer, my advice is to rebound in the opposite direction.