Stuttgart v Barcelona - as it happened

Christian Gross is a devout believer in the power of visualisation, which basically means that he thinks that forming an image of something helps you to attain it (the ready availability of counter-evidence from tens of millions of frustrated teenage boys all over the world has not damaged the credibility of this theory, apparently). During his successful stints at Basel and Grasshoppers Zurich, for instance, Gross regularly took his teams on trips to medieval castles, so that they could better envisage fortresses, and thus turn their own stadiums into impregnable homes. When he arrived at Tottenham Hotspur, he held a tube of Toblerone up to his players and told them that it represented the remainder of their league campaign, with each match being a summit that must be conquered. Quite what David Howells and Ruel Fox made of this is unclear, but given the widespread ridicule that accompanied Gross when he was sacked after 10 months at Tottenham, it is fair to deduce that in order to get to his present position – of being in with a small chance reaching the Champions League quarter-finals by beating the mighty Barcelona – Gross has spent much of the last 12 years envisaging, say, Tony Adams winning the Formula 1 world championship in a Sinclair C5. His White Hart Lane misadventure constitutes, in fairness, a rare smudge on an otherwise pristine coaching career (and, as is explained here , his reign was not as ludicrous as often claimed). And since replacing Chris De Burgh's patient as boss, Gross has hauled Stuttgaert out of relegation danger and all the way up to ninth in the Bundesliga. Have Spurs ever been ninth in the Bundesliga? Exactly. Barcelona will batter them, though, won't they? Certainly they will have most of the ball - despite iffy performances Barca's have averaged 68% possession in the Champions League so far, much more than any other team (Arsenal and Bayern come next, since you ask, with 56%) - so it is just a question of whether they can turn possession into opportunities to prove/disprove the notion that 40-year-old Jens Lehmann is still better than any keeper at the Emirates. Let's hope Jens can stay on the pitch for more than 18 minutes, eh? Teams: VfB Stuttgart: Lehmann, Celozzi, Tasci, Delpierre, Molinaro, Gebhart, Trasch, Khedira, Hleb, Cacau, Pogrebniak. Subs: Ulreich, Osorio, Niedermaier, Marica, Rudy, Hilbert, Kuzmanovic. Barcelona: Valdes, Puyol, Marquez, Pique, Maxwell, Busquets, Toure Yaya, Xavi, Messi, Ibrahimovic, Iniesta. Subs: Pinto, Bojan, Henry, Pedro, Milito, Bartra, Jonathan. Referee: Bjorn Kuipers (Holland) 7:31pm: Several of you have sent me your thoughts on the separation of Cheryl and Ashley Cole. I haven't read them and certainly won't publish them. Why are you even thinking them? 7:34pm: To whom it concerns, here are the line-ups from Old Trafford. And the big news is that Ben Foster finally seems to have been located. Man Utd: Foster, Neville, Brown, Vidic, Evra, Valencia, Gibson, Scholes, Anderson, Berbatov, Rooney. Subs: Kuszczak, Owen, Park, Rafael Da Silva, Jonathan Evans, Fletcher, Diouf. West Ham: Green, Faubert, Tomkins, Upson, Spector, Behrami, Noble, Kovac, Diamanti, Franco, Cole. Subs: Stech, Dyer, Ilan, Mido, Da Costa, Collison, Daprela. 7:36pm: Expect controversy in Piraeus tonight - Howard Webb is in charge of the Olympiacos-Bordeaux game. And here are the men who will be competing for the remainder of the limelight: Olympiacos: Nikopolidis, Torosidis, Avraam Papadopoulos, Mellberg, Raul Bravo, Maresca, Ledesma, Stoltidis, LuaLua, Mitroglou, Datolo. Subs: Urko, Galitsios, Oscar, Derbyshire, Zairi, Zewlakow, Leonardo. Bordeaux: Carrasso, Chalme, Planus, Ciani, Tremoulinas, Menegazzo, Sane, Plasil, Gourcuff, Wendell, Chamakh. Subs: Rame, Henrique, Gouffran, Cavenaghi, Jussie, Bellion, Sertic. 7:41pm: I was going to studiously ignore today's most voyeurtastic story, but Dominic Wright has made me break my vow. "Doesn't the separation of the Coles prove the power of visualization of tens of millions of teenage boys?" quips the boy Wright. 1 min: We have kick-off, courtesy of Stuttgart. And they show their attacking intent by ripping forward immediately, and losing possession. Barca, then, can begin knocking it about with customary composure. 2 mins: A dinky piece of play on the left between Hleb and Khedira, until the latter undoes it all by passing into touch. It's a pleasingly high-pace game so far, and Stuttgart seems determined to press their illustrious visitors with every opportunity. 4 mins: Molinaro fails to intercept a chipped pass, allowing Messi to collect the ball wide on the right and hurtle into the box. The Argentine skips past one defender ... and then slips over. Stuttgart welly it clear. 7 mins: Xavi tries to feed Messi behind Molinaro again, but this time the full-back is more alert. But he's still sufficiently frazzled by the proximity of the little maestro to needlesly donk the ball behind for a corner. 9 mins: Intense pressing forces Toure to hoof the ball back to his own goalkeeper from the halfway line. 10 mins: Hleb gives the ball away on half-way and Barca dart forward, their move only being halted when Tasci puts in a superb, risky tackle in the box on Ibrahimovic. "I haven't seen Lehmann play since he left the Arsenal but he's definitely still better than any keeper at the Emirates!" chirps Sam Farmer. 13 mins: Decent spell of pressure from Stuttgart, who fizz a series of centres across the face of goal, but Barca defend well, notably when Cacau had a chance to shoot but was quickly closed down. Meanwhile, Yeovil are a goal up at Walsall, and Port Vale are 2-0 against Lincoln City. See, we're not all about glitz and glamour at GU Towers. 15 mins: When Barca have the ball, their strategy seems to be to try to work it quickly to Messi, whose would-be marker, Molinaro, does not appear to know whether he should follow him when he comes in off the wing. You'd think they'd have talked about that beforehand, no? 17 mins: Pogrebnyak has looked very menacing whenever his team have been able to get him on the ball. He's big, strong and nimble, making him one of those phenomena that can create time and space for himself, and use it to tee up team-mates. 18 mins: Speaking of phenomena, there goes Messi on another speedy run towards the Stuttgart box. Excellent tackle by Celozzi. 20 mins: When Stuttagrt do get the ball, they attack with admirable pace and gusto. They're starting to stretch the Barca defence. Marquez has jsut been booked for tripping the marauding Molinaro. Hleb, on loan from Barca, curls it in and Pogrebnyak nods it on before Puyol puts it behind for a corner, which Ibrahimovic, of all people, clears. 23 mins: Molinaro raids down the left again and this time clips a fine cross to the back post, but Gebhart mist-timed his jump and headed backwards rather than forwads. GOAL! Stuttgart 1-0 Barcelona (Cacau 25') Khedira whipped in a cross from the right, Puyol missed it and Cacau sent a powerful header past Valdes. That's a deserved lead for Gross's men. 27 mins: Iniesta, whose rapid feet and immaculate control make him a joy to watch, conjures space where there had been none and then attempts to slip a ball t hrough to Ibrahimovich. But Tasci reads his intentions. Hats off. 28 mins: Stuttgart players charge towards the referee to demand a penalty after the ball hits Pique's hand in the box, but the Dutch official is unmoved. 30 mins: Nearly another goal for Stuttgart! Cacau shouldered the defender to the ground in the box - which is legal, though most refs do not appear to know that - and thus finds himself one-on-one with the keeper. At least he was for fleeting moment, but he was not quick enough to take advantage and Pique got back to disposses him. 32 mins: This is great stuff from Stuttgart, who continue to attack in waves, their sheer speed and crispness overwhelming Barca. "For all the puffed chest pride about how 'physical' the English game is, pint-sized Leo Messi runs through tackles as a matter of course that Messrs. Terry, Gerrard, and Rooney would gladly use as an excuse to get to know the turf," fumes Thad Brown. "It's one of the wee boy's more endearing qualities, other than the obvious footballing ones." It's true what you say of Messi, but you're a bit harsh on Rooney. He tends not to go down if he can help it, though I am, of course, aware of exceptions. 34 mins: Maxwell relieves the pressure on Barca by scuttering down the left and swining in a cross that Tasci puts behind for a corner. The corner is wasted. 36 mins: Barca again wilt in the face of Stuttgart pressing, Hleb nicking the ball off Puyol. He then played it to Pogrebnyak, who dashed to the by-line and then pulled it back to Traesch, whose shot from the edge of the area was, alas, wonky. Elsewhere, Leicester have taken the lead at Donny. 39 mins: Stuttgart's front pair really are excellent. Pogrebnyak and Cacau are proving a real pain for the Barca defenders, not simply because they are so strong , clever and direct with the ball, but also because they are in perpetual motion without it, constantly darting hither and thither to offer options to team-mates. But in the time it took be to write that eulogy, Stuttgart lost possession up front and Barca tore down the other end and almost scored! To the delight, perhaps, of Arsenal's current keepers, Lehmann was badly at fault, letting a Messi shot from the edge of his box slip through his hands ... luckily for him, it bounced back to him off the post. 41 mins: Pogrebnyak receives the ball just inside the Barca half, then gallops past Pique and into the box. Valdes rushes off his line to dive at his feet and deflect the ball out for a corner. This is an engrossing contest, to be sure. 44 mins: The home crowd whistle nervously for half-time as Barca lay siege to the Stuttgart box. Formidable defending, and consistently woeful crossing from Puyol, prevents them from penetrating, however. Half-time: That was wunderbar from the Germans. They got the European champions reeling with an exhilarating display of skill, tenacity and speed. They endured a couple of jittery moments in the dying mintues of the half, and Lehmann got away with a slack piece of goalkeeping, but Stuttgart deserve to be in front. The second half promsies to be intriguing. "Will Thad Brown still sing Messi's praises after watching this ?" asks Jonathan Francis. "Honest, yeah." I see that Bordeaux have taken the lead in Greece, thanks to Ciani in first half stoppage time. A plea from John Willoughby, and, perhaps, the predlue to a confession. "Whoah, hold it!! I do not expect to open a Guardian MBM and get flattened by a rocket flashback to the Town and Country Club Kentish Town circa 1988 where I've been dragged by a mate to see some bleached-out guy who's stolen the David Bowie band to run through his Let's-Dancesque-like songs while having my ear simultaneously bent by an apparently promising cute woman who then proceeds to whine on about beer stains on her white stretch pants for the rest of the set. Please! Put a 'Belouis Some warning' at the top of pictures like that!! No, that would give it away, put 'one-album wonder pop-wannabe of the eighties warning' up there. Or something. Really. I'm going to keep remembering all sorts of other mildly embarrassing things from that gig all evening now." Elaborate, sir. Man United 1-0 West Ham (Rooney 38', from a cross by Valencia if you must know) 46 mins: Barceloan set the second half in motion. "Looking at that Stuttgart starting XI, I reckon Pogrebnyak is the only player bought for anything more than the proverbial peanuts. Just shows you can build a half-decent side on free transfers, loans and youth team players. Well tight-fistedness is a Swabian tradition, after all." And Christian Gross is a genius. 47 mins: Molinaro bombs down the left again - he really is terrific going forward - and then, oh, over-hits his intended pass. 48 mins: After Ibrahimovic dithers on the ball in the Stuttgart box - he's been useless again tonight, the Swedish galoot - the home team tear forward and a long ball arrives at the feet of Cacau, who tries a sneaky lob over Valdes from the edge of the area. His execution is awry. 50 mins: Gebhart clatters late into Maxwell on halfway and cops a deserved yellow card. 51 mins: Barca are growing into this game. Messi finds Ibrahimovich with another canny pass and this time the Swede's first touch is good, but his shot is deflected behind for a corner. GOAL! Stuttgart 1-1 Barcelona (Ibrahimovich 52') A simple goal in the end. A diagonal ball into the box from distance is nodded down by Pique, straight to the feet of Ibrahimovic. From 10 yards he shoots at Lehmann, who spread himself splendidly, but the ball rebounds kindly to him and he prods into the unguarded goal. 54 mins: Barca change: Toure off, Henry on. 56 mins: Barca are well and truly in their groove now and Stuttgart are struggling to get a touch. "Am I the only one who finds it odd to see Hleb on the pitch against the team who have loaned him out?" wonders David St George. "I guess Barca didn't think Stuttgart could end up playing them at some point during the season?" I guess you're right. 58 mins: Gross makes his first change: Traesch off, Kuzmanovic on. Barca make their second, introducing Milito for Marquez. 60 mins: Stuttgart have steadied themselves slightly and started to re-assert themselves. Cacau got himself free down the right a moment ago but then a heavy touch sent the ball back to a defender. 62 mins: Cacau fires wide after a some decent work at the edge of the area. Meanwhile, I note it's still 0-0 between Scunthorpe and Ipswich. It's the 56th minute, which means that in approximately four minutes Roy Keane will make a double substitution. You see if I'm wrong. 63 mins: Bad miss! Hleb created set the chance up, scampering down the left before crossing to Cacau, who laid it back to the edge of the box. Khedira surged on to it but dragged his shot wide. 65 mins: Pogrebnyak seems spent after all his endeavour in the first-half, so off he trudges to be replaced by .... somebody. I'll get his name for you in a moment. I know how much you care. Oh yes. 67 mins: A Lehmann special! He let a Xavi corner slip through his hands and was lucky that Molinaro headed Ibrahimovich's subsequent shot off the line. Inexplicably barmy goalkeeping, unless "that's Jens Lehmann" is explanation enough. "Given the frequency with which the Arsenal short-passing game is derided as tippy-tappy, hopefully some of those watching this will take a moment to appreciate the work rate it requires to stay close enough to teammates to make the Barca style wor," lectures Petr Fremont. "The number of times the TV shots have 6 or more of them in the frame is impressive." 70 mins: Stuttgart come cloes to regaining the lead but Valdes, unlike Lehmann at the other end, performed herocially, cutting out Gebhart's cross despite a deflection off Maxwell. Cacau would surely have scored otherwise. Meanwhile at Old Trafford, Park almost puts United 2-0 up but his shot after a Valencia cross bounces off the bar. 71 mins: Busquets is writhing in agony on the ground after being caught by Molinaro. A pause in play. At Scunthorpe, Roy Keane has just made his inevitable double substitution. 73 mins: Play has yet to resume, but, elsewhere, the early fruits of Keane's substitutions are bitter indeed: Scunthorpe have just taken the lead ... Man United 2-0 West Ham (Rooney again, and again from a Valencia cross) 77 mins: Messi drifts a pointless freekick into Lehmann's arms. Ipswich have just equalised against Scunthorpe, with one of Keane's subs, David Healy, getting the goal. 80 mins: Celozzi leads a a quick Stuttgart counter-attack ... options abound ... but for once Stuttgart are too slow to exploit them and Barca are able to get back in numbers, forcing the Germans to retreat. 83 mins: Barca are circulating the ball at their lesiure, obliging Stuttgart to chase them. Molinaro did so with a little too much spleen just now, smashing into Iniesta on midway and getting himself a booking. 84 mins: Stuttgart switch: Gebhart off, Rudy on. 85 mins: A touch for Stuttgart! Followed, naturally, by 100 touches for Barca, who don't seem particularly intent on notching another goal. They're obviously convinced that Stuttgart have had their moment and will be dismembered at the Nou Camp. They're probably right. "The only reason why Hleb is playing against us is because we never include clauses to prevent our players from playing against us because we aren't afraid of our players playing against us – mainly because they're rubbish (unlike a certain other club who have spent millions this summer and yet still put clauses on their loanees from playing against them)," blathers Mo Gusbi. "We had another loanee Henrique playing against us last weekend as well." So now ye know. 88 mins: The game is ptering out. Barca believe they are through, and Stuttgart are exhausted. Barca could regret their complacency - there is a second goal here for them if they want it. 90+1 min: A late stab at resistance from Stuttgart, and a dangerous one it was. Marica tried to slalom into the box but was upended by Puyol, who gets a booking. Freekick at a tight anle on the left-hand side of the box. Kuzamanovic curls it around the wall ... and into the arms of Valdes. 90+3 mins: A Stuttgart attack breaks down and Barca launch a lightning counter .... that is curtailed in burtal fashion by Khedira, who then stays down claiming injury in the hope that the ref might spare him a red card. Players gather around him, Ibrahimovich shoves Cacau and, eventually, the ref shows Khedira a yellow card. The aggressor's ploy worked. Full-time: That was fun. Stuttgart really went for the European champions and were brilliant in the first half, when they pulled off the not inconsiderable feat of denying Barca time and space on the ball. And when they had it themselves, the Germans were quick, strong and incisive. They deservedly took the lead and forced Barca to riase their game, which the Catalans duly did. Top entertainment. The second leg will be worth watching.