Birmingham City v West Ham - as it happened

Preamble: Birmingham City were the first English team to win a Wembley final with a golden goal (1995 Auto Windscreens Shield); they were the first English team to reach a European final (1960 Inter-Cities Fairs Cup); they were the first team to fail to score in an FA Cup final after the opposing goalkeeper broke his neck (1956); and tonight they might, just might, play entertaining attacking football for the first time under Alex McLeish. OK, OK, that's a slight exaggeration. Indeed, they were uncharacteristically vibrant in the second half of the first leg of this tie (having been characteristically plod in the first half) but ultimately goofed and went down 2-1. And yet you'd be a fool to bet against them overturning that deficit tonight, not least because there is no reason whatsoever to believe that West Ham are capable of keeping a clean sheet. Other, of course, than Birmingham's general bluntness. Basically this could be a goalfest or utter hogwash, is what I'm saying. Teams: Birmingham: Foster, Carr, Johnson, Jiranek, Ridgewell, Larsson, Ferguson, Bowyer, Gardner, Derbyshire, Jerome. Subs: Taylor, Murphy, Phillips, Fahey, Zigic, Hleb, Beausejour. West Ham: Green, Faubert, Tomkins, Upson, Bridge, Noble, Parker, Playmaker extraordinaire Spector, Hines, Cole, Boa Morte. Subs: Boffin, Reid, Gabbidon, Dyer, McCarthy, Sears, O'Neil. Referee: Ryan Babel's favourite Pre-game chitchat: "We're a goal down, we have to go for it," thunders McLeish to Sky, which is promising. 7:41pm: The teams are in the tunnel. They think it's about to begin. They're right. Comparing the demeanours of the goalkeeprs is interesting: Rob Green looks steely and focused, Ben Foster relaxed and genial. Actually, that wasn't that interesting, was it? 1 min: West Ham kick off. Within eight seconds the ball is in Foster's arms. 2 min: By the sounds of it, St Andrews is rocking, and that's not something we've been able to say many times this season. The energy in the stands is being matched by fizz on the pitch as the ball is pinged to and fro with great speed and little accuracy so far. 4 min: Wayne Bridge's first contribution to the evening is farce-free. He trundles down the left and plays it in-field without ado. West Ham quickly work it to Hines, who jinks at the edge of the box and sends a decent curler towards goals. Foster saves comfortably. 5 min: Set-pieces are Birmingham's primary source of goals and Seb larsson has just swung in a menacing freekick from the left. Like a brute of a bouncer Green came to punch away decisively. 6 min: Tomkins does well to charge down a Bowyer shot after West Ham had left their former team-mate free in the box. 8 min: It's been high-tempo scrappiness so far but at least the buoyancy is enough to keep interest afloat. 10 min: After Carr had motored down the right West Ham regained possession and Noble instigated a quick counter-attack with an excellent ball to Hines. The youngster spurned the opportunity, however, shooting tamely at Foster, who palmed it away for a corner. 13 min: West Ham are starting to gain a degree of control, showing more composure and quality than the home side. Right up to the point that Cole blazed high and wide after a dinky through-ball from Parker. 15 min: West ham continue to apply pressure, Bridge and Cole combining well just now down the left before Carr intervened to cut out their conniving. 17 min: Craig Gardner has one of the most ferocious shots in the Premier League. But his latest effort wasn't one of his finest, flying wide from 25 yards. 19 min: The camera pans to Avram Grant, whose neck is naked. He was lamenting yesterday that the West Ham club shop has sold out of his favourite type of scarf and expressed the hope that they might get one in today. Obviously they didn't. What item of clothing will he chose to throw to his adoring fans at the end of this game instead? The mind boggles ... 20 min: Birmingham's early zest has faded and West Ham are now comfortably the better side. Unfortuantely for them, Cole and Hines have both misdirected crosses from dangerous positions in the last couple of minutes. 22 min: Jiranek stops, hand in air pleading for offside, and Cole races past him to collect the ball at the byline. Carr reverses quickly to put it out for a corner. Birmingham's defending has been sloppy so far: they seem desperate without Dann. "Perhaps not a surprise, but the game is hard to find here in Tunis," yelps Nicholas Norbrrok. "8pm curfew not helping. Taxi driver assures me he can show me the next Samir Nasri." Exactly waht are you up to, Nicholas? Are you breaking the curfew solely in the name of scouting? 24 min: Birmingham can't get the ball out of their own half at the moment and panic is spreading through their defence and even infecting the crowd, whose early fervour appears to have turned to fear. But can West Ham take advantage? They'd have a much better chance of doing so if Frederic Piquionne and Victor Obinna hadn't stupidly got themselves sent off in recent weeks. " Who in your opinion will make the bigger howler, Green or Foster?" asks Rob Hisnay. Well, Foster has got to be the leading contender at the moment, given that Birmingham seem incapable of giving Green anything to do. 27 min: "West Ham have been like twitching corpse this season: just when you think they're dead and buried they come back with a big performance," expounds Sky's Alan Smith, who's obviously been watching a lot of B-movies lately. 29 min: Birmingham make it into the general vicinity of their opponent's box! But Ridgewell's cross gets a nick off Faubert and trundles into Green's arms. No howler ensues, which is bad news for Birmingham as that is looking increasingly like their most likely source of a goal. GOAL! Birmingham 0-1 West Ham (Cole 31') It's a majestic strike from Cole! Not unlike Drogba's opener against Bolton the other night. He received the ball from a throw-in, was allowed to turn, and whacked the ball into the far corner from 25 yards! So West Ham have the lead they deserve. 33 min: The cadaver that is Birmingham tonight is starting to twitch a little. And they've won a freekick just outside the box, almost dead centre. Larrson curls it over the wall but straight into Green's hands. No howler ensues. 35 min: Cameron Jerome, who, incidentally, might be described as the poor man's Carlton Cole, no less, collects the ball at the corner of the West Ham box and clips a decent cross towards Derbyshire, the player not the county (yes, it probably was necessary to specify that) but West Ham clear. 37 min: Hines hits the post! He met Noble's freekick in acrobatic fashion and, with Foster perplexed, looked on in dismay as his clever shot bounced out of the post. 39 min: Another freekick to Birmingham. Larsson steps up to cross from the right. Tomkins reacts well to head behind for a corner. Cue another Larsson set-piece. Green punches clear. "I am a West Ham fan and know and believe and trust that fewer Hammers and Hammerettes will be watching Sky coverage due to the sexism furore. Am I a git believing in such bubbles?" wonders Freddie de Smithers. "And, for what it's worth, almost ALL Hammers and Hammerettes I know are relieved O'Neill didn't get the job and want Avram to do his lastminute.com thing. The thing we despair of is not the manager, nor even the team really, but the bosses. Again, are we on the wrong side of the frail bubble of hope?" 41 min: "EAST, EAST, EAST LONDON!" croon the Birmingham faithful. Or is it just that the away fans are outsinging the locals, who have been subdued by their own team's drabness? 44 min: Birmingham have had a bit of possession over the last couple of minutes but are looking impotant, West Ham keeping them at bay with ease. McLeish will surely be thinking of throwing on one or all of Hleb, Beausejour and Zigic pronto. 45 min: Parker tracks back to snuff out what we may charitably call a Birmingham attack. "So happy to have Hines back," squeals Ian Melven. "He was looking very promising before his injury and although, as you say, it's the suspensions that probably led to him starting recently, he's looking back to his old self and getting sharper weekly." True. Half-time: "Boooooooooooooooooooooooo!" growl the home fans, concisely summing up their team's performance. "As a neutral I'm torn," bemoans Mike Hanton. "On the one hand arsenal-Birmingham seems like it could be a really good clash of football ideologies style final but on the other hand I've always had a soft spot for cuddly Avram and his patented Face-O-Misery. On another note the commentator here just described Carlton Cole's goal as 'England-class.' Somewhat harsh?" Half-time thought: "You know, if West Ham get the Olympic Stadium, the running track will place the spectators farther from the pitch, making it harder to observe the team's play," muses Paul Szabo. "All in all, is that such a bad result?" Hmmn. Could the stadium be moved to Birmingham? Around, say, the St Andrews area? Question: "Excuse my ignorance, but do away goals count?" asks 'a slightly happy West Ham Fan in New Zealand'. They count after extra-time, if it comes to that. "With Avrams demonstrated ability with cup competitions, why has he never managed a team in the World Cup. England anyone?" Well, he has demonstrated an ability to get teams to the finals and then losing on penalties. England are pretty good at that already, aren't they? 46 min: So, McLeish has made a change. Zigic is on for Derbyshire. Long balls ahoy! 47 min: It's a jittery start to the second half by Birmingham. Jiraneck dillied and dallied on the ball in his own box, allowing Boa Morte to disposses him and run towards goals. Carr had to intervene again to save further embarassment. 48 min: Ha! Grant has emerged for the second half with a clarent and blue scarf: clearly he had a secret stash, or perhaps the delivery men were asked to worked over time to ensure he wasn't forced to throw any other item of clothing into the crowd at the end? 50 min: Larsson sends a speculative daisy-cutter straight at Green from 30 yards. No howler ensues. 52 min: Upson boots the ball downfield just to relieve the pressure but suddenly Hines is sprinting through on goal. Ridgewell scurries across and brings him down, but the ref reckons there was no foul. 53 min: Ooooh! Zigic is providing Birmingham with an obvious focal point up front and they're looking for him at every opportunity. A moment ago he chested down a clipped pass into the path of Gardner, who unleashed a lovely volley from 20 yards, only for it to crack the inside of the post and ricochet to safety! Great effort! 55 min: Much like the first leg, Birmingham have improved in the second half here. Zigic has just met another long ball and directed a cushioned header to Jerome, who shanked it wide from nine yards. "Surely Avram popped around the corner at half-time and picked up a claret and blue Villa scarf," suggests Ian Burch. 58 min: West Ham aren't helping themselves here. They're retreating deeper and deeper, conceding ground that Birmingham might not be good enough to earn themselves. 58 min: Bridge handles in the box whilst under no pressure. It wasn't deliberate but plenty of refs would have given a penalty for that. GOAL! Birmingham 1-1 West Ham (Bowyer 59') This reallyt is just like the first leg. West Ham have capitulated as soon as Birmingham worked up a head of steam. They've utterly failed to deal with high balls. From a corner just now two defenders rose with Zigic but neither could apply a decisive touch and the ball bounced into the path of Bowyer, who rocketed the ball into the net from 16 yards. Emphatic finish. 62 min: Faubert scorches his way down the right but then crosses directly to Foster. 63 min: They may be boring but they're not dumb: Birmingham continue to launch the ball towards Zigic, with whom West Ham simply cannot cope. On the latest occasion, however, the big man's knock-down went astray. 65 min: West Ham are starting to show signs of renewed life. Noble scurried down the right and served up a fine cross with which Boa Morte should have connected. But he missed it from eight yards out. 66 min: West Ham couldn't look more shakey if they were clad in denim and singing about green doors. Every cross towards Zigic triggers absolute panic. 68 min: Larsson fires in a corner. Green does what his defenders have been unable to do and actually beats Zigic to the ball. And holds on to it (his ability to do that does, admittedly, give him an advantage over his defenders). 70 min: It's all Birmingham. Ridgewell races down the left and swings in a good cross that Zigic, naturally, meets. It takes a deflection and goes behind for a corner. The set-piece is cleared as far as Ferguson, who lets fly from 25 yards, forcing a decent save from Green. 71 min: West Ham substitution: off goes Hines, on comes Bowyer's old mucker, Kieran Dyer. "As an ex-pat, I am sat in The Office (yes, it's a bar) in Grand Cayman with my Bluenose wife as we enjoy a romantic late lunch hour together watching the match," brags Russel Homer. "As a Villa fan, I'm torn between supporting happy Hammers in line with our rivalry and being happy for her to have a weekend back in London next month - it's always good to see the little teams have their big day out ..." 73 min: A rare venture downfield by West Ham yields a corner. Birmingham don't deal with it convincingly but West Ham fail to profit and eventually the ball trickles into the hands of Foster. 75 min: Cole brings a good save from Foster with a shot from 20 yards. 77 min: West Ham have steadied thesmelves a little - keeping the ball better - and Birmingham aren't managing to cause quite as much trouble as they were doing up to their goal. 78 min: Larsson sends in another fine corner. Jerome leaps well to send a header goalward. Green tips over. GOAL! Birmingham 2-1 West Ham (Johnson 79') West Ham's weakness in the air is punished again. Johnson got the jump on Upson to meet Larsson's corner and power a perfect header into the net from seven yards. We're level on aggregate! 81 min: That should have been number three for Birmingham! Jerome beat Upson to a long ball over the top but then fired at Green, who parried with his feet. 82 min: West ham actually string a sequence of passes together and then Birmingham are invitied to remind us that they too are frail at the back, and they oblige by conceding a corner in panicky fashion. It's cleared, but West ham come back and win another one ... 83 min: West Ham change: Boa Morte off, Gary O'Neil on for his debut. The corner is then taken. Johnson heads it to the edge of the box, where Noble takes it down on his thigh and tries a slinky volley, which floats over. 85 min: Corner to West Ham, who have perked up a little in the dying minutes. Noble's delivery is emphatically cleared by Johnson. "I'm at work in NZ," sniffs Craig Lucinsky. "This is excrutiating, even in minute-by-minute updates! Maybe the Hammers should investigate a T20 format of football, so only the first 45 half counts? C'mon you Irons!" 87 min: Peeeeeep! Peeeep! The ref halts play to berate Ferguson and Dyer, who exchange shoves after a collision in midfield. Both are booked, but Ferguson is lucky, since the replay shows that he also aimed a sly, soft kick at Dyer. Not all the different to the one taht got Obinna a red card in the first leg. 89 min: Supreme playmaker Spector charges into the Birmingham box ... he has team-mates to his left ... he has team-mates to his right .... he picks out a Birmingham player. 90+3 mins: Gardner hits the post again! It was well-hit again, low and hard from 20 yards, but Green got just enough on it to touch it onto the post! Birmingham are denied a sensational last-gasp winner. Extra-time will follow. End of regulation time: Don't listen to the ever-expanding bookies: you'd be mad to bet on the outcome of this match. ET 1: Away we go. GOAL! Birmingham 3-1 West Ham (Gardner ET 4) I was just about to say that the opening minutes of extra-time had been uneventful when Gardner picked up the ball mid-way inside the West Ham half following strong work by Carr. He ambled forward with no objections whatsoever from his opponents ... and cracked a fine low shot past Green from 23 yards! After twice hitting the post it was third time lucky. Mind you, Green should have kept that out. ET 6 min: West Ham are attempting to rally. Faubert swings in a teasing ball from the right. Johnson does brilliantly to head away before Cole could connect. ET 8 min: Spector helps the ball on to Noble, who skips towards the box and then sends a low rasper towards goal. Foster saves. ET 9 min: Corner to West Ham, who are starting to apply serious pressure. Johnson clears impressively. ET 10 min: Parker does well to control a cross 10 yards from Birmingham's goal and create space for a shot ... but, off-balance, he fails to hit the target. ET 11 min: Birmingham change: Gardner off, Murphy on. ET 13 min: Cole controls a long hoof from Green but, with no support, soon loses possession. ET 14 min: What a chance! Dyer has missed it! After being served with a delicious cross from the right by Faubert he guided his shot from eight yards inches over the bar! ET 15 min: What is it with teams in the lead in this tie? As soon as one team gets in front and is subject to pressure from the other team seeking to redress the balance, they begin to crumble. Birmingham are again looking very dodgy at the back and you certainly can't rule out a West Ham comeback. Et 15+2 min: Faubert, a growing influence in the game, curls in a cross from the right but Ridgewell nuts clear. And on that note the referee blows for half-time in extra-time. McLeish immediately stomps on to the pitch to administer a furious bollicking to his team ... ET 16 min: Golly. Grant has removed supreme playmaker Spector and introduced Benni McCarthy. ET 18 min: Carr clips a crossfield ball towards Zigic, who, of course, wins the header and nods down for Bowyer, who, of course, is in plenty of space in the West Ham penalty area. But Bowyer mis-controls, allowing West Ham to recover and scramble clear. ET 19 min: Zigic flips a tame header into the arms of Green. No howler ensues. ET 20 min: Jerome displays commendable pace and strength to beat Tomkins to the ball but is then punished for it. Have shoulder-to-shoulder challenges really been outlawed? Poor show. ET 22 min: The momentum that West Ham had worked up by the end of the first half of extra-time has subsided. Birmingham are looking comfortable again. ET 24 min: Faubert traps a long Upson ball brilliantly, but his subsequent cross is lame. ET 25 min: West Ham corner. Bridge delivers from the left. It's flicked on at the near post. Cole controls with his arm and then aims an acrobatic attempt at goal. Well held by Foster. ET 26 min: Cole booked for holding off Johnson and then complaining when Howard Webb spotted it. Is Cole set to continue West ham's striker's trend of earning idiotic red cards? Stay tuned ... ET 27 min: Least surprising news of the day? Kieran Dyer is off the pitch receiving treatment. ET 28 min: Murphy has a chance to wrap it up for Birmingham. He's clean through with only Green to beat. He hesitates ... and then let off a rather predictable shot that Green is able to beat away. ET 29 min: Birmingham win a freekick down by West Ham's corner flag. They're nearly there ... Full-time: Birmingham will play Arsenal at Wembley in the Carling Cup final. And they deserve their place there following a fine second-half comeback. West Ham had got themselves into prime position to progress but capitulated in all too familiar fashion.