Cheer up. Only 22 days to go

You're grounded: Hands-on policing "We will introduce a series of early intervention measures, including grounding orders, to allow the police to use instant sanctions to deal with antisocial behaviour without criminalising young people unnecessarily." So say the Tories on page 56 of their manifesto. So that's what they meant when they talked about putting an end to the nanny state. Rumours that police powers will soon include "The naughty corner", "Think about what you've done" and saying "No TV for a week" are still unconfirmed. Tweet of the day "told the tories played keane at their manifesto launch. am horrified. to be clear - we were not asked. i will not vote for them." Richard Hughes, drummer, Keane Vote with your stomach: Election night eating Luxury home-delivery service Forman & Field has launched a so-called Election Night Hamper with a press release that makes a brave attempt to link macaroons, pickled shallots and pork pies to David Cameron, Eric Pickles and Anne Widdecombe. Meanwhile, chocolatiers Artisan du Chocolat have chosen to mark the occasion with a selection of Election Buttons, billed bizarrely as "fun, cheeky and not overly political or biased towards specific candidates and parties". Reasons to hang: Number 5,962 Is there anyone left in the country who wouldn't prefer a hung parliament? Senior civil servants are certainly hoping for one. Staff at one of the major government departments have booked two weeks out of the office from 6 May in the hopes that the process of coalition-building will leave them with absolutely nothing to do. An anonymous government source told the diary: "We have booked either a frontline visit or a training course every day for the two weeks after the election, in case of a hung parliament." Not having a government: all pro, no cons. Picture of the day I love it how Dave always looks like he has just arrested his wife. The Great Ignored: Quest for the holy Grayling Chris Grayling made a brief appearance at the Tory manifesto launch yesterday, after a week of playing hide and seek with the media following his unfortunate suggestion that B&B owners should be free to turn away gay couples. While less senior cabinet members took to the podium, the shadow home secretary was left to stand quietly in the crowd at the back. Which, photogenically enough, had been filled with very young female Conservatives. It looked like Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. We can haz internets: A bold pledge Filesharers and gamers everywhere must have been delighted with Labour's promise to provide every household with "a broadband service of at least two megabytes per second by 2012", given that the average connection in British households is currently just a quarter of that. Broadband speeds are usually measured not in megabytes, but in their diminutive cousins megabits, which are an eighth of the size. So Labour's pledge would mean providing everyone with some of the most expensive internet technology available. Battle of the breakfasts: Party snacks While Labour matched medium to message with no big spending commitments at their manifesto launch and not a scrap of food in sight, the Conservatives laid on a feast yesterday morning with chocolate croissants, brioche, bacon and super-posh sausage sandwiches. The Lib Dems will have to get out the caviar to compete.