Charles Saatchi's catalogue of disasters

Newspeak: British Art Now, the new show at Charles Saatchi's honey-stone Chelsea pile, is intended as a survey of the best that contemporary British art has to offer. But inspiring greater ire than the art is the exhibition's truly baffling catalogue. "Incomprehensible," said the Guardian's Adrian Searle, while critic Paul Morley, on BBC2's The Review Show on Friday described it as "one of the great pieces of comedy writing of the year". Here are some extracts: On modern Britain "A nation demarcated where vomit meets surf, geographically encircled by froth." On the artists "Articulated as doublespeak, they hand-make the virtual, cite history in fugue fervour, and find the poetic and enduring in the cacophony of pop cultural din." On artist Barry Reigate "Choose kiddie-style porn with Barry Reigate's tittie fetish paintings, his cartoon Mickey Mouse sculptures so pervy. Get off on their ghetto-black sleaze." On "naming the new realities" "By naming them, the world that is constantly hurtling in some unknown direction can be understood, and the straitjacket – which has for so long been known as culture – can be re-tailored and fitted to it anew." On artist duo Littlewhitehead "Littlewhitehead's yoot spectacle boasts like a national emblem: hoodie-pack in a corner, both menacing and humorously punitive, elevating happyslapping to the level of white cube sublime."