Let's move to Burnham-on-Crouch, Essex

What's going for it? OMG. There are seals an hour outside London. No, not in a zoo. In real life. Genuine, bona fide seals. They're of the ­common-or-garden variety, true, but they are seals ­nonetheless, lounging on the ­mudflats beyond Burnham, just a commute away from Liverpool Street station. To be quite honest, I'm loth to tell you about Burnham. I want to ­gobble it up all for myself. If I could only persuade the Other Arf to up sticks, I'd be there in my white weatherboarded cottage before you could say Colchester oysters . The landscape is like a smudgy water­colour, half-solid, half-liquid, all salt marsh and sky; and the town's a Dickensian lucky dip of wooden cottages, ­Georgian bay-­windowed inns and Victorian ­terraces. There's a 30s modernist gem (the Royal ­Corinthian Yacht Club , designed in 1931 by Joseph Emberton , for the ­architect nerds among you). A cute old cinema . And silence, save for the rattling of the ropes against masts on the quayside. The case against A touch isolated: out on its own on the Dengie ­Peninsula . I don't hold out much hope for it should the floods come. Bring stilts. Bleak, but I like bleak, don't you? Well connected? Not bad. Still has its rail link, which escaped Dr ­Beeching (chairman of British Railways in the early 60s, don't you know) thanks to supplying Bradwell power station . Hourly trains to ­London Liverpool Street (just over an hour). Road: Chelmsford and Southend are a 30-minute drive away. Schools Burnham-on-Crouch ­primary is "good", "effective and improving" according to Ofsted; St Mary's CofE primary is "satisfactory", but has "some good features". The town's secondary, St Peter's high school , is "satisfactory". Hang out at… Any number of lovely inns. Or, if you fancy a bit of posh, try the congenial Oyster Smack Inn for beer and modern British food. Where to buy Small enough not to matter much. The conservation area – with its timber-clad cottages and Georgian brick town houses – for choice. Nice grid of Victorian ­terraces, too. Market values Crikey – two-bed ­Victorian terraces, from £145,000; three-beds, up to £250,000. ­Detacheds, £200,000-£500,000. Semis, £160,000-£350,000. Flats, from £80,000. Bargain of the week Three-bed, chain-free Victorian terrace house, £142,995, with Bairstow Eves (01621 785004). An hour from ­London! Go for it! From the streets of Burnham-on-Crouch Caroline Sarychkin "The town ­magically sells everything you need. It's sunnier than London (or maybe that's just me), and has a railway right into the capital, unlike a lot of prettier Essex villages." Terry Cassels "A vibrant community radio station, St FM, run by volunteers." Trevor Howell "Great for local produce; Maldon has great oysters." Tony Jones "A strong sense of ­community and mutual support. The river's a big part of its identity." • Live in Burnham-on-Crouch? Join the debate at theguardian.com/letsmoveto Do you live in Ely, Cambridgeshire? Do you have a favourite haunt or a pet hate? If so, please write, by next Tuesday, to [email protected]