Liverpool v Tottenham - as it happened

Good evening everybody. You don't need me to tell you that Liverpool are in all sorts of bother, the well-documented nitty-gritty of which you can read about here . And here . And here . And here . And here . And here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here . But not for much longer here , because the squares at at the Fun Police are trying to railroad the proprieter of the (one-page) website into removing it on the grounds that " the site is mis-leading and likely to cause confusion to the public due to the association with LFC and the offer of an event that does not actually exist ." No, really. That's how little the good folks at Intellectual Property Protection racketeers Net Result think of us, the public. Anyway, tonight's ding-dong. Tottenham currently sit in fourth place in the table, four points and three places clear of Liverpool, with the world and his wife waiting with interest to see when they'll begin the inevitable slide down the table towards ninth place, which all right-thinking people know they're going to occupy come season's end. Indeed they may have started it already - only time will tell if Saturday's 0-0 defeat at the hands of a Boaz Myhill-inspired Hull City will go down in the White Hart Lane annals as The Day It All Started To Go Wrong, Again. Liverpool: Reina, Carragher, Skrtel, Kyrgiakos, Insua, Degen, Mascherano, Lucas, Riera, Aquilani, Kuyt. Subs: Cavalieri, Maxi, Babel, Ngog, Spearing, Darby, Pacheco. Tottenham: Gomes, Corluka, Dawson, King, Bale, Modric, Jenas, Palacios, Kranjcar, Crouch, Defoe. Subs: Alnwick, Hutton, Pavlyuchenko, Keane, Giovani, Bassong, Rose. Referee: Howard Webb (England) Blah, blah, blah ... Steven Gerrard, Yossi Benayoun and Fernando Torres ... while in the ongoing absence of Glen Johnson, Jamie Carragher lines up at right-back, with Sotirios Kyrigiakos getting another start in the centre of defence covering for Daniel Agger. Alberto Aquilani starts in midfield, but Maxi Rodriguez has to settle for a place amongst the replacements. For Spurs, Peter Crouch and Jermain Defoe get the nod up front, Ledley King has hobbled out of the treatment room for one of his rare appearances and Robbie Keane will be kicking his heels among the substitutes. The Irishman can at least be grateful that there's very little chance of him getting lost on his way to the bench at Anfield. Pre-match waffle: They've showed an interview with Alberto Aquilani on the goggler, which I missed, but it seems he's been explaining that he's not Xabi Alonso, he doesn't want to be compared to him and is looking forward to playing tucked in behind Dirk Kuyt tonight in a far less deep-lying role from the one in which he showed a few nice touches, but ultimately struggled against Stoke last weekend. Aquilani's shipped a lot of abuse since his arrival at Liverpool, which I think is unfair. He's a good player who, between injuries to himself and others, hasn't been given a decent chance to show what he can do in his favourite position. Tonight could be the night he makes a name for himself on Merseyside. A rant: "Is it just me," asks Justin Kavanagh, "Or do others get utterly disillusioned with football and modern life when they read about sour Scouse Steven Gerrard? He's hugely talented, a great competitor, and he earns a banker's bonus in a season. And yet he conducts his life under a great big cloud of victimhood and privilege - when he's not contemplating leaving for Chelsea because he's not loved enough, he's demanding to know why he can't inflict [Snip! Snip! Snip! - Guardian Lawyers]. I opened up a magazine the other day and he's telling the world that he wants to be on a beach next year with a League and World Cup winner's medal. I bet if that happened he'd be complaining that they're weren't waterproof or that they fade too easily in the sun!" More on that Aquilani interview: "I watched that interview with Alberto on sky sports," writes Anthony 'Anto' O'Connell. "I reckon the lad doing the translation was taking the piss. It seemed like Alberto was talking a lot but the translation was very very short." A chippy email: "Aquilani 'showed a few nice touches but ultimately struggled' against Stoke," writes Alan Brady. "He came on in the 88th minute. Let's not get the facts in the way of anything, eh?" Apologies Alan. I wasn't aware that the three nice passes he played before giving the ball away for the equaliser were discounted because he was only on the field for five or six minutes. I obviously missed that meeting. 8pm: Not long now. The teams are out, with both sets of players lining up in their usual strips. Liverpool will play into the Kop in the first half. At the Emirates, Bolton are one up against Arsenal. 1 min: Liverpool kick off, shortly after the camera has finished panning around assorted banners in support of Rafael Benitez. 2 min: If you backed Javier Mascherano to concede the free-kick, you can go and collect. He clatters somebody in the centre circle, the ball is lumped towards Peter Crouch and he heads it down towards Jermain Defoe. Sotiros Kyrgiakos clears. 3 min: Not much going on at the moment. The usual probing, passing and ball giving-away. Oh hold on, it's all happening now because Spurs have won a ... throw-in. GOAL! Liverpool 1-0 Spurs (Kuyt 6) Great play from Aquilani, who chests down a punt from Reina, holds the ball up as Kuyt makes a run past him towards the Spurs penalty area. The Italian prods the ball towards Kuyt, who shoots past Gomes into the bottom right-hand corner. 7 min: Just before Liverpool scored, Spurs went close as Gareth Bale sent a sweeping cross into the corridor of uncertainty between goalkeeper and cetnre-backs. Reina could only parry it, the ball looked to be rolling towards Defoe, but Kyrgiakos cleared before Defoe could shoot into the empty goal. 9 min: Michael Dawson should probably have broken up the link-up play between Aquilani and Kuyt that led to Liverpool's goal, but didn't. He will, as they say, be disappointed with that. 10 min: An attempted Michael Dawson clearance from inside his own area rebounds off Wilson Palacios and suddenly the sprint to the breaking ball is on between Gomes and Kuyt. The goalkeeper wins. 12 min: "Next," writes Mac Millings. "Intellectual Property Protection racketeers Net Result will be banning Christmas on the basis that there's no Santa, gluing small children's teeth back onto their gums to stop them believing in the Tooth Fairy and shutting down Guardian MBMs lest we think that there really is a Gary Naylor." 14 min: With a lazy pass under pressure from Defoe, Pepe Reina concedes a throw-in deep in his own half. Halfway through finishing that sentence, the throw had been taken and all danger had been averted, but I decided it was easier to finish it than find something new goings-on to describe. 17 min: At the Emirates, Bolton have just gone 2-0 up against Arsenal. 17 min: Jermain Defoe gets penalised for being offside after sprinting back to claim a wayward Philipp Degen clearance on the edge of the final third. 19 min: Tottenham corner. Kranjcar sends an outswinger into the mixer, where Kuyt beats Dawson in the air, but only clears as far as Bale. He clips the ball back into the edge of the six-yard box, where Reina gathers. 21 min: Free-kick for Tottenham, way, way out, near the left touchline. Gareth Bale pumps it towards the goal, Liverpool clear. 22 min: Here's an extract from an email John Lally sent at 7.26pm: "If I were a betting man, I'd put money on Liverpool scoring inside 10 minutes just based on this ." 24 min: Palacios gets unfairly penalised for a challenge on Aquilani about 50 yards out from the Tottenham goal. Riera shoots it straight into the arms of Gomes, when he should probably have worked it wide. 25 min: Spours attack down the right, courtesy of Gareth Bale. Between them, Philipp Degen and Albert Riera dispossess him and the latter sets off on a counter-attack that comes to an abrupt end when Jermain Jenas slides in with a tackle. He gets booked for his troubles, which seems a bit harsh. 27 min: Jermain Defoe gets a good talking-to for a late lunge on Degen that looked a lot worse than the challenge that earned Jenas a booking moments previously. 31 min: Arsenal have pulled one back against Bolton at the Emirates, with lesbian lookalike Tomas Rosicky doing the honours. Meanwhile, you can cast your votes in the Best Podcast and Best Writer and anything else we're involved with here . 33 min: But as Nick Cave said: "My muse is not a horse and I am in no horse race and if indeed she was, still I would not harness her to this tumbrel - this bloody cart of severed heads and glittering prizes. My muse may spook! May bolt! May abandon me completely." Look, just vote for anyone from the Guardian, please. 35 min: There's a break in play as Degen and Bale clash heads and get treatment, then Benitez and Redknapp discuss whose fault it was. 37 min: The goal apart, this is pretty turgid stuff. It's quite attritional in midfield, Spurs are creating nothing and both teams are defending quite stoutly. The balls pinging around between boxes, but apart from that there's nothing much to report. 39 min: Except, of course, for Javier Mascherano's obligatory booking, which he picks up for a foul on Crouch. Free-kick for Tottenham, about 30 yards out on the right hand side. 40 min: Bale floats the ball in towards the far post, where Crouch tries to leap for the ball with Kyrgiakos holding two fist-fulls of his shirt. Ledley King gets on the end of the free-kick and brings a smart save out of Reina, but even if he'd scored, the goal wouldn't have counted, as the linesman had flagged for a foul against Crouch. That's ridiculous officiating. 42 min: Liverpool win a free-kick in the Tottenham left-back position. It's floated into the mixer and Liverpool win a corner, which Riera swings in. Gomes punches clear, but only as far as Riera, who picks out Degen. Crouch clears. 44 min: Riera whips another dangerous cross into the Tottenham penalty area. Kyrgiakos tries to get on the end of it, but the ball is cleared again. 45 min: There'll be a minimum of four minutes of injury time. 45+2 min: Corner for Liverpool, the ball is arrowed right across the face of goal, where it's cleared only as far as Kuyt, who heads into a thicket of bodies from 10 yards. The ball ricochets as far as Skrtel, who shoots high and wide from a narrow angle. 45+4 min: Jenas and Defoe link up beautifully to set up Modric, who can't get enough toe on the through-ball to test Reina properly. Half-time Half-time analysis: Nick Cave also drove a Trashcan and stuck a 6 inch gold blade into the head of a girl, so he's not the best reference," writes Julian Menz. "Plus, he murdered beloved Neighbours actress Kylie Minogue in cold blood. I have video evidence." "Didn't Nick Cave make that comment about being nominated for a Brit award?" asks Nathan Smith. "If so, is this an opportune moment to point to the Brits shortlist for the best album of the last 30 years ? Jesus, almost certainly, wept." Eh, I thihnk it was the MTV Awards Nick was telling to eff off, Nathan, but it's all self-congratulatory corporate bollox, innit? Speaking of which, has everyone voted for me here, yet? At the Emirates it is now Arsenal 2-2 Bolton Wanderers. That's quite a comeback by Arsenal. " Enough of Aquilani! " snaps Scott Connolly. "Degen should be a hero to every luckless, one-footed, nearsighted semi-athlete to stagger out onto a football pitch. He shows there's a place in football for everyone. And that place happens to be out on the wing. When half your team is injured. And no-one has to pass you the ball." Second half: And we're off, as Tottenham attempt to put an end to their dismal on-the-road record against Big Four teams. They haven't beaten anyone from the Big Four in 16 years, it says here. 46 min: Defoe gets the ball into the Liverpool net after Reina is far too casual over a backpass from Kyrgiakos. Defoe robs him of possession and slots the ball into the empty net, but after taking an age, the linesman finally flags him for being offside when the original long ball was played out from the Tottenham defence. 47 min: Just to be clear, Defoe wasn't offside when Kyrgiakos passed the ball to Reina, but had been running back up the field from an offside position before the ball came to the Greek. That means that even though two opposition players touched the ball, before he did, he was still judged to be offside in the "second phase" of the attack. This confusion over the offside rule and phases of play needs to be cleared up, because Defoe is entitled to feel aggrieved at being ruled offside there, while Liverpool would have been entitled to feel aggrieved if he hadn't been. 50 min: Things that happened while I was waiting three minutes for my computer to upload that last piece of info: Riera hit the Tottenham bar with a header, Wilson Palacios got booked and Arsenal went 3-2 up against Bolton at the Emirates. 53 min: "Never mind the Brits or the MTV awards," writes Alison Jeeves, minute-by-minute regular and everyone's favourite box office manager. "Its all about the National TV Awards live here at the O2, where Jedward have just performed with special guest Vanilla Ice." Good grief. No doubt both acts think they're the star-turn and that the other(s) is(are) some novelty act loser(s). 55 min: The offside experts on Sky have finally decided that Jermain Defoe's goal should have stood and have arrived at the conclusion that the ref and his assistant don't understand the rules about second phase play. If they can't figure it out, what hope is there for the rest of us? 56 min: Jenas stings Reina's left palm with a rising drive after being teed up on the edge of the Liverpool penalty area by Palacios. 60 min: Tottenham substitution: A left-back for a left-back: Corluka off, Alan Hutton on. Harry's really going for it here. 61 min: Hutton introduces himself with a feisty challenge that upends Mascherano and prompts the Argentinian to rail at the referee about the injustice of it all. 63 min: We're about to be treated to the once familiar sight of Robbie Keane comprising 50% of a substitution at Anfield. 64 min: Mascherano gets caught in possession with the ball at his feet, facing his own goal 20 yards out and is needlessly fouled by Wilson Palacios. Tottenham substitution: Keane on, Kranjcar off. 65 min: Liverpool blow a marvellous chance to go 2-0 up, when Kuyt and Degen are put through two on one and manage to balls up what should be a formality through their own bumbling ineptitude. Gomes didn't even have to face a shot, never mind make a save. 68 min: Dirk Kuyt goes down injured and needs treatment. Gomes puts the ball out of play. 69 min: At the Emirates, Arsenal have come back from 2-0 down against Bolton to go 4-2 up. 70 min: Liverpool are sitting further and further back here, and Robbie Keane is about to come on for Spurs. You don't need to be the lovechild of Nostrodamus and Mystic Meg to hazard an accurate guess as to what's going to happen next. 71 min: Kuyt and Degen combine to miss another gilt-edged chance. Liverpool win a free-kick on the left touchline, Degen gets a flick on the inswinger and, unmarked at the far post, Kuyt volleys over the bar. "It's not an easy chance," says Andy Gray on Sky. I couldn't disagree more - he's a professional footballer in the Premier League, so he should be able to hit the target with a volley, unmarked from less than 10 yards out. 73 min: If you backed more than nine goals in the Carling Cup semi-final second leg between Villa and Blackburn you can go and collect. It's 5-4 to Villa on the night, 6-4 on aggregate. 74 min: Sorry, make that 6-4 to Villa on the night, 7-4 on aggregate. I get all the good games to commentate on. 75 min: Corner for Tottenham. Modric sends an outswinger in from the right, Aquilani clears. Is that the first time I've mentioned his name since the goal? 77 min: Replays show that Peter Crouch should have got a penalty in the build-up that led to that corner. He was tripped by Carragher, but as the Liverpool No23 has special dispensation to trip people at Anfield, no spot-kick was forthcoming from Howard Webb. 78 min: Alan Hutton cuts in from the right flank to get on the end of a cross from the left and send a 25-yard volley screaming over the angle of bar and upright. Liverpool susbtitution: Alberto Aquilani off, David Ngog on. 80 min: Tottenham susbtitution: Sebastien Bassong on, Ledley King off. Liverpool susbtitution: Albert Riera off, Maxi Rodriguez on for his Anfield debut. 81 min: The name of Lucas goes into the book for a foul on Modric. Free-kick for Spurs, about 30 yards out. Bale takes it and shoots straight into the wall. 83 min: It's a cliche that footballers are stupid for a reason. When Harry Redknapp wanted to bring on Bassong, not content with having no shirt on under his tracksuit, the centre-half didn't even have shorts on. Harry went berserk. 85 min: Dirk Kuyt misses another sitter, side-footing a volley wide from three or four yards out when Huerelho Gomes was at his mercy. Moments previously, David Ngog had brought a fine save out of the Brazilian as he tried to curl the ball inside the far post from the left-hand side of the penalty area. 87 min: Liverpool miss another opportunity to put the game beyond Tottenham, when Kyrgiakos beats the offside trap, chests down the ball and scuffs the ball straight at Gomes from 10 yards out. The finishing here is woeful, but at least Liverpool are creating chances. 88 min: Spurs might not be getting the result they're after tonight, but at least their fans can console themselves with the news that Arsenal came from 2-0 down against Bolton to win 4-2. It's not all doom and gloom in North London - the neighbours have done well. 90+1 min: Penalty for Liverpool, as Ngog goes down in the penalty area under a challenge from Bassong. That's a fair cop. 90+2 min: Kuyt puts the ball in the back of the net, but Howard Webb wants this to be about him and makes him take it again because two players encroached. One of them was a Liverpool player. GOAL! Liverpool 2-0 Tottenham (Kuyt 90pen) Kuyt keeps what passes for his cool to score on his second attempt. That's game over - Liverpool are just one point away from the fourth place they crave with such desperation. How the mighty have fallen. 90+5 min: Peep! Peep! Peep! It's all over. Liverpool take the points and Tottenham don't. Is anyone but the most deluded Tottenham surprised? No, didn't think so. Interesting stat: Gareth Bale still hasn't started on a winning Spurs team in the Premier League. He was one of Tottenham's better players this evening, which isn't saying much. They were pretty hopeless and have as much chance of finishing in the top five on the strength of that performance as I have of winning Best International Male Artist at the Brit Awards.