Tom Meltzer's election diary

Hecklers Tories in disguise Hannah Campbell has dealt a blow to her party's hopes in Worcester after being caught organising "flash mobs" of Tory hecklers to disrupt Liberal Democrat and Labour events. Posing as residents and shouting difficult questions would, she said, "have a much more beneficial result than wearing badges or handing out literature". She told friends on Facebook: "We must appear to be aggravated residents NOT Conservative party members!" It wasn't the first gaffe. Candidate Robin Walker misspelt Worcester in a pamphlet. The intergalactic Cameron Uma ji muna, Sleemo They are a group of slug-like creatures known for their wide mouths, malevolent eyes and links with the criminal underworld. The Hutts, that is. So why are David Cameron's children trying to talk like them? The Tory leader revealed yesterday that, taking inclusiveness ever further, his kids are learning to talk to aliens. "We have a Jedi obsession," he said. "The kids made me look up Jabba the Hutt on the computer to see if we could learn some language of the Huttese." Here then, with the help of Wookiepedia , is the diary's handy phrasebook. Huttese for Young Tories: A Beginner's Guide Gooddé da lodia! Good day to you. Cheesba hataw yuna puna? Can I upgrade to first class? Mi cooing koo sooah I've got the credits. Keel-ee calleya ku kah You disappoint me. Jeeska da sookee koopa moe nanya Keep your suction cups where I can see them. Preaching to the converted Brown gets biblical The prime minister condemned his rivals with the wisdom of the ages ­yesterday. Speaking at a church in Streatham, he said: "You know the great story in Micah in the Gospel. You know it talks about justice rolling down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream. But before these words it says: 'Have done with people who are just presenting images. Have done with people who are just talking, or ­singing songs that don't mean anything.' " Impressive, except the quote is from Amos, not Micah, and from the Hebrew Bible, not the Gospel. Amen, anyway. Welsh alternative One law for the rich Plaid Cymru leader Ieuan Wyn Jones must have decided long ago never to tell anyone how to pronounce his name. While Huw Edwards opts for "Unwin Jones", Andrew Marr yesterday gambled on the more manly "Iron Win-johns". The Welsh leader was however a little uncomfortable when Marr questioned him over his party's plans to impose a UK-wide maximum wage, admitting: "This would not apply to entrepreneurs. We want to encourage entrepreneurs to be setting up business in Wales." So no one's allowed to be richer than Welsh businessmen, then. Fair enough. Quote of the day Gillian Duffy on Brown I'm not 'that woman'. It's no way to talk of someone, that, is it? As if I'm to be brushed away. Why couldn't he have said 'that lady'?