Wigan Athletic v Tottenham Hotspur - as it happened

Afternoon all. So Villa have cranked up the pressure on Spurs with a resounding victory over a pretty hapless Burnley side . Can Harry Redknapp's team respond? Well, let's find out shall we? The Guardian hamsters , the ones that power all our systems using their little wheels, held a wildcat strike during the Villa game, so I'm hoping they're back to work for this one. Tottenham have one win in the last six, Wigan one in the last 11. Neither side, then, is in particularly great form. The teams are in: Wigan: Kirkland, Melchiot, Caldwell, Scharner, Figueroa, Thomas, Diame, McCarthy, N'Zogbia, Moreno, Rodallega. Subs: Stojkovic, Watson, Scotland, Moses, Gomez, Sinclair, Boyce. Tottenham: Gomes, Corluka, Dawson, King, Bale, Bentley, Huddlestone, Palacios, Kranjcar, Crouch, Defoe. Subs: Alnwick, Kaboul, Pavlyuchenko, Modric, Gudjohnsen, Bassong, Rose. Referee: Alan Wiley (Staffordshire) Advert dept. Buy a car. Buy insurance. Buy a computer game. Watch a film. Phone directory enquiries. Eat a pasty. Gamble on something. There's a hole in my goalnet, dear Liza, dear Liza ; There's a hole in my goalnet, dear Liza, a hole. The referee isn't happy with the net at Chris Kirkland's end and a man armed with needle and thread has been dispatched to sort a ball-sized hole near one of the posts. Peep! With all nets stitched up, we're off. 1 min: The pitch looks pretty dreadful - boggy and bobbly. 3 min: The Guardian's hamsters seem to have resolved their industrial dispute and are back to work (touch wood ...). Not that they've been overly stretched so far - nothing in the way of fireworks from either side. 5 min: Defoe strays offside as Dawson lofts the ball aimlessly forward. At the other end, McCarthy fails to find Rodallega with the Columbian drifting into a bit of space on the left. 7 min: A hopeless, hopeless free-kick from N'Zogbia drifts apologetically out for a goal kick. The early exchanges don't bode well. "If only badgers and hamsters unite they could create a breed of energy producing badsters," writes Ian Copestake, not unreasonably. 9 min: It's all very direct so far, with both teams attempting to bypass the pudding of a pitch. 11 min: "If the Guardian chose to use hamster power on ecological grounds, this was probably a mistake," writes Les Brown. "The methane they produce will play havoc with global warning." Crouch flicks on, Huddlestone gets a boot in his ribcage and Tottenham have a threatening free-kick ... 12 min: ... passed in to Defoe, but Wigan smuggle it clear. 14 min: A quick free-kick has Defoe tip-toeing into the area, but Scharner does superbly to block his shot. And then Bentley flicks the ball up and volleys at goal. Straight into Kirkland's mitts, but a decent effort all the same. Spurs definitely on top here. 16 min: "I feel like Hannibal of the A-Team," writes George Templeton. "The first part of the plan for Sunday, an easy three points for Aston Villa is complete. Now the next part is going to plan with Liverpool and Manchester City trying to outdo each other for bad football and drawing. Now can Wigan round things off by getting a result here and setting everything up very nicely for next week (where Villa will win a cup and City will lose to Chelsea and Spurs will either draw or lose to Everton!)" If I was a Villa fan, I'd be a little concerned about Everton ... 18 min: Wigan should have a corner. But they don't. That's about as good as its got for them so far. 20 min: It seems I was being a little harsh on the Guardian hamsters. It was our automatic score thingamajig that was causing the problems. That's gone and it should be plain sailing from here on in. I say plain sailing, but these two sides could do with producing some action or I'll be vamping for the next 70 minutes. 21 min: Lovely stuff from Wigan on the egde of the box, Rodallega and Moreno combining before Rodallega slaps in a shot which Gomes does well to clear. 23 min: King blocks a Diame volley on the edge of the area. I'm sorry - this is all a bit flat isn't it? I used up all my 'A' material on the earlier game. Anyone got a riff? GOAL! Wigan 0-1 Tottenham (Defoe 27) A shocking pass hands Spurs possession on halfway, Bale breaks down the left, and Defoe is only a couple of yards offside when he scores. The linesman has had a shocker there. 28 min: Corluka wins a soft free-kick on the right. A decent position ... 29 min: ... headed away for a corner. From which Spurs commit a foul. "You should replace the entire bolshy hamster workforce with Chinese Hamsters (Cricetulus griseus), who have prehensile tails, the little scary freaks lucky tykes," writes Poppy McNee. 31 min: Wigan have been stung by that goal, though there was very little protest from the players. Even Defoe looked embarassed by it. "The riff you're looking for?" writes Ivan Victor. "Wigan's pitch is so bad it looks like ..." 32 min: Diame skips past a challenge and pings a shot at goal. Deflected. Corner ... 33 min: ... which Gomes punches away at knee height. Then Moreno is harshly punished for a non-foul on Dawson. 35 min: The Guardian hamsters now seem to have joined forces with the Sky Sports squirrels - everything's just gone grey and fuzzy. Oh, hang on - we're back. Bale is lucky to escape without censure for a studs-up lunge and Wigan remain on the front foot, though Diame's cross heads off into the stands behind the goal. 37 min: Bentley booked for a bit of a nothing challenge - certainly far less dangerous than Bale's effort a minute or two ago. Maybe this is the riff we want - where can you get a pie in Bucharest? "Surely there's a few Premier League records up for grabs here," writes Steve Clowes in the Romanian capital. "That's six for Defoe in the league against Wigan and 10 in total for Spurs. Also does anyone know where i could get a pie or a sausage role. Moved here in August and talk of Wigan is making my stomach rumble again." 39 min: Wigan free-kick ... 30 yards out ...N'Zogbia lines it up ... and Defoe charges out from the wall to block. He's rightly booked and N'Zogbia has another chance (the first effort was pretty poor). The second try is no better, though. 40 min: "In response to Poppy McNee's 29th-minute entry, though it's been a while since I've seen 'Boogie Nights', I seem to recall that Dirk Diggler also had a prehensile tail," writes Mac Millings. "A quick look at the Chinese Hamster wikipedia page seems to lend weight to that - apparently the males have 'a relatively large scrotum'." Nice. 42 min: Moreno is dispossed - he's looked weak as the lone front man. Some players are just not suited to play the role (Kalinic at Blackburn is another, I reckon). So despite enjoying a fair chunk of possession, Wigan have barely threatened the Spurs goal. 44 min: The officials are bearing the brunt of the fans' ire here. Scharner is the latest to be penalised. "Never mind the pie in Bucharest," writes Robin Hazlehurst, "it is Steve Clowes' wish to be a sausage role that is intriguing. Is he a method actor who specialises in food items and is looking for work, or does he just want to be nibbled by a hungry dog?" 45+2 min: It's started tipping it down up in Wigan. That won't help the pitch. Peep! Half-time. A fairly forgettable half, notable only for that rick by the assistant referee. Stand by for the Let's All Chuckle at Steve Clowes' Unfortunate Homophone Half-Time Email Special. The Let's All Chuckle at Steve Clowes' Unfortunate Homophone Half-Time Email Special! "Steve Clowes was after a sausage role," writes Si Williams. "Maybe he should speak to Dirk Diggler, he's bound to have some interesting people in his phone book..." "In response to Mr Clowes, for a pie I'd recommend a butchers, and as for a sausage role, perhaps there's one going down the local meat theatre?" writes Sam Barritt. "And I hope Steve Clowes has the right kind pasty complexion, that will help him land his dream role," titters Poppy McNee. The Chinese Hamster's Relatively Large Scrotum Half-Time Email Special! "Relative to what?" wonders Tom Hopkins. Half-time snack news dept. Would it be wrong to say a delicious pie and a jumbo sausage roll? It would certainly be a lie - I've given up meat for Lent (a situation which led to me eating one of the most Guardian things imaginable for tea last night - beetroot and walnut houmous). A cup of tea would be the truthful answer. Peep! Spurs, kept waiting in the rain by their opponents for a good two minutes, get the second half underway. 46 min: Tottenham win an early corner ... 47 min: ... Crouch wins it and Kirkland does well to grab on to it ahead of Corluka. 48 min: McCarthy brings down Bentley, I think, for a free-kick but he's got Scharner to blame for it. The Austrian attempted a ludicrous dribble out of defence and lost possession in a dangerous area. The set piece comes to nothing, though. 49 min: Events have taken a very strange turn. "Re. Tom Hopkins," writes David Hilmy, who may be a vet of some sort or may simply have an unhealthy interest in hamsters' nether regions. "'Relative' as in if you had a scrotum proportionate to the hamster, you would be walking backwards pulling a child's wagon upon which your colossal testicles would sit. But before you start dreaming, note that hamster penis size is not commensurate with hamster scrotum size." OK, then ... Meanwhile at the DW, Defoe goes down looking for a penalty, but he's already had one dodgy decision today and he's not going to get another. 51 min: Dawson goes into the book for clattering a Wigan player. And a depressingly familiar sight for Spurs' fans - King is hobbling off after twinging something - possibly a thigh - in a challenge. Bassong replaces him. 53 min: Like a bag of misprinted Nik Naks, it's getting nice and feisty. A couple of clomping challenges in the Tottenham area (on Tottenham players) have the terraces on their feet and Wiley blowing his whistle. 55 min: Hendry Thomas makes way for Victor Moses, an attacking move from Martinez. Interesting to see how the youngster gets on. 57 min: Nice stuff from Wigan - N'Zogbia and Melchiot combine down the right and work the ball across to Moses. His shot isn't the firmest and it's straight at Gomes, but already the Latics have a little more oomph. 58 min: Moreno wins a corner ... 59 min: ... swung in by N'Zogbia, and a big shout for handball from those behind the goal. None of the players went up, however, and Tottenham clear. 61 min: Superb save from Kirkland! Kranjcar feeds Defoe, he skips past Scharner, but the keeper makes himself big and bats the ball away. That could've been curtains. 62 min: A long throw causes more problems in the Spurs backline, but they manage to scramble it away. Wigan have their foot on the Tottenham throat ... but they haven't yet delivered the blow. Just the sort of time, when things aren't going your way and you're in the relegation scrap, that the opposition break away and score ... 64 min: "Given that King going off injured is, as you say, a far from unusual sight, why does 'Arry insist on playing him every time he can stand unassisted?" writes Adrian Cooper. "Bassong is not more than able, he and Dawson were beginning to form a pretty effective partnership. Starting King is akin to saying 'That's OK, I don't mind only being able to make two tactical substitutions.' Oh, hang on, 'Arry does't make tactical substitutions, does he? That would involve having a Plan A, let alone a Plan B." Diame goes into the book for chopping down Kranjcar. 66 min: More decent stuff from the home side - ending with N'Zogbia curling a shot just over the bar. 67 min: N'Zogbia curls a free-kick in, Tottenham clear, but it's one-way traffic at the moment. 68 min: A Croatian Switch (which sounds like some sort of painful MMA move, but probably isn't): Modric on, Kranjcar off. 69 min: Modric finds Defoe 22 yards out. He's got half a yard of space - a quick turn and a shot spat at goal force Kirkland to keep his wits about him. 71 min: Huddlestone is the latest in the book for a blatent block on N'Zogbia. Wigan are pressing, pressing, but still Moreno hasn't convinced. 73 min: Pavlyuchenko replaces Defoe. 74 min: Huddlestone gets a stern talking to from Alan Wiley, with stand-in skipper Dawson in attendance. It wasn't too bad a challenge all things considered, he trod on McCarthy's foot more than anything. McCarthy, though, is pretty miffed - he's just lunged at Bentley and got himself yellow-carded. 76 min: Sinclair replaces Moreno. Another tricky player - but surely a battering ram like Jason Scotland would've been a better bet? 78 min: Another fine save from Kirkland. Crouch is clean through on to Modric's pass - it's a pretty weak finish to be fair, but the keeper still did well. 79 min: "Beetroot and Walnut houmous?" scrawls an incredulous James Simkins. "Are you after Sean Ingle's title of the sports department's foodiest hack?" Nah - I can't hold a candle to the king of the mung bean. 80 min: A horrible error from Gomes - fumbling McCarthy's cross-shot - almost allows Sinclair a shot at goal. That was like winding the clock back 18 months. Tottenham scramble clear, though. 83 min: Tottenham hit the post! A quite beautiful move, prompted by Modric, ends with the Croatian curling a first-time shot square onto the post with Kirkland, for once, beaten. GOAL! Wigan 0-2 Tottenham (Pavlyuchenko 84) That's been coming really, ever since the introduction of Modric. Yet again the little Croatian is involved, bowling his way through one tackle, before ignoring the run of Crouch and picking just the right pass. Pavlyuchenko, 10 yards out, makes no mistake under pressure 86 min: Modric really has been excellent since springing from the bench. Kranjcar is a super player too, but surely old 'Arry can't keep Modric out of the side for much longer? "Luka Modric cut his teeth playing on loan in the Bosnian league where this surface would've been considered perfectly playable," writes James Hallett, "so it's no surprise to see a goal coming from one of his ambling runs, he must feel right at home." 88 min: "I can't top beetroot and walnut humus," writes Adrian Cooper, "but, in honour of our wonderful Croats, I'm about to prepare pork schnitzel served with red cabbage and apple and then give myself a bad mullet before dessert." Wigan play a bit of keep-ball, but, just as they have for the previous 87 minutes, they're struggling to make an impression on the Spurs backline. 90 min: Four minutes added time to be played. 90+2 min: So Tottenham are set to go fourth - with Manchester City and Liverpool finishing 0-0, it's been a good day for Spurs and Villa. GOAL! Wigan 0-3 Tottenham (Pavlyuchenko 90+3) Pavlyuchenko's run across the box catches Wigan unawares from Huddlestone's free-kick. His flicked header is well saved once again by Kirkland, but the Russian does superbly to flick home a neat finish from the rebound. Redknapp over on the touchline looks somewhere between thoughtful and miserable. Peep! Peep! Peeeeep! All over. A fairly comfortable and comprehensive victory for Spurs, albeit one sparked by a blatantly offside goal. Big hugs for Pavlyuchenko from all of his team-mates and the travelling support are chanting his name. Thanks, as ever, for all your emails folks, particularly Steve Clowes for being a good sport. Stick around on site for all today's match reports. G'night!