Tim Dowling's World Cup Diary

▶ Halfway through a 48-hour period that Fifa obviously intends for us to spend in quiet reflection, it occurs to me that a Paraguay-Uruguay final is now a real possibility, meaning a showdown between two countries I have always treated as the same place, not because they're indistinguishable, but because I was never certain which one was which. It would be like Ant and Dec facing each other in the Wimbledon men's final. In case you're in the same position, here's a quick primer: Uruguay is the smaller but more developed one (the "Dec", if you will), while Paraguay is oddly shaped and completely landlocked (just like "Ant"). And on the map, Paraguay is always on the left, as Ant is on TV. ▶ Paul the Octopus (right) of the Sea Life aquarium in Oberhausen, has made his prediction for the quarter final between Germany and Argentina: Germany to win. He did this by picking a mussel from one of two marked boxes in his tank and eating it. It is unclear whether he's seen much of Argentina, or whether he ate the other mussel as well. But there's no doubting his record – he's picked the winner of the last four German matches. Bet all your money on Paul. ▶ Finally, with more and more casual football fans hopping off the World Cup bandwagon while it's stalled, let's bid farewell to the following: people who got Japan in the office sweepstake; members of the Cristiano Ronaldo fan club; small children forced to watch by their Slovakian au pairs; anybody who'd never seen a penalty shootout before and realised how cruel and unfair it is. See you folks in four years.