The Madchester Derby

'Carlos Tevez puts Gary Neville's running mouth to good use for once,' cackles Mike Petchey Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'After the latest fallout, involving the verbal insulting of a 'captain', it was time for Manchester's two rival families to sit down and discuss what needed to be done.' Will Wilson channels The Godfather Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'Craig Bellamy’s popularity remains undiminished,' notes the mono-monikered Golly Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'Mark Hughes and Robinho try to find a place to watch the derby where they're welcome,' says Rumbelows co-founder Phil Brown Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'You Mancs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!' Tom Thompson presents his jokesome version of Planet of the Apes Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'Did no one else notice the subtle name change on the back of Rooney's shirt for the derby?' Luke McCarthy has something to ponder Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'British Intelligence have dismissed Osama bin Laden's new TV message saying: 'It doesn't prove he is alive, it could have been recorded any time in the last 34 years.' Sid Holton takes the warmongering idea to its extreme Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'Carlos and Rio wind down after the big game.' Fi Weatherall's mind is a bit twisted Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk And here's Fi's second offering: 'Rio shows the City boys his Arabesque' Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'It sure is entertaining. But sometimes I wonder if it's real?' Brian Corcoran's derby doodle could teach WWF a thing or two Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'Tension builds in the Madchester donkey derby.' Al Balmer gives everyone on the sports desk a headache Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'And in the first leg Tevez created the sock sucker, and then he declared that it was good.' If Tevez is God, we're all in trouble, Bert Ayers Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'Mancini flaunts his package, Ferguson takes offence.' More schoolboy humour courtesy of Bert Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'Tevez brings along his translator to get his point across,' phnaars Andrew Schroeer Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'Garry Cook was quick to take advantage of Tevez’s comments.' Is Jon Warren taking liberties with Gary Neville's head? Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk 'A baptism of fire for St Carlos in the derby.' Al Balmer's original caption made no sense, so we changed it. OK? Photograph: n/a Photograph: guardian.co.uk