Michael Holden's All ears

On a delayed plane, the pilot made an announcement explaining that the aircraft must be de-iced prior to take off. He spoke clearly and with authority, leaving the couple next to me impressed and reassured. Woman "They must go to college." Man "Who?" Woman "The pilots." Man "Eh?" Woman "They must get training. In how to talk to people like that. So clearly." Man "I used to make announcements." Woman "When?" Man "I did work experience on the Victoria line." Woman "And they let you make the announcements?" Man "I think maybe they did it just to keep us busy." Woman "What sort of things did you have to say?" Man "Ladies and gentlemen, due to a person under a train at Caledonian Road, there is no southbound service on the Piccadilly line." Woman "And you used that voice?" Man "No, I used a nicer one. A sort of posh woman's voice." Woman (frowning, incredulous) "Let's hear it then … " Man (He gave her a look and then used a measured yet ridiculous tone, like a professional sportsman reduced to playing a pantomime dame, but determined to make a go of it) "Due to a person under a train there is no … " Woman "Eugh, that's enough." Man "It sounds better over the PA. It comes out clearer." Woman "I'm glad you never got the job." Man "I never wanted it." She scowled and turned back to her thick book of puzzles.