Stoke City v Arsenal - as it happened!

Preamble: Good afternoon, world! So, we wait to find out: Is Sol Campbell back (I should be able to answer that one any minute now), and is he still any good? Arsenal could certainly do with a man-mountain defensive colossus at the minute, so here's hoping. Stoke have history weighing heavily against them: this is the eighth time they've been drawn against Arsenal in the FA Cup, and they've lost every single time. 1.01pm: In other news: popping candy – brilliant, even when you're not a child. In fact, it's probably the most amazing confectionary product that has every existed. That's my claim of the day. Yeah, you might prefer a Snickers or a Daim, but do they actually explode, harmlessly but entertainingly, in your mouth? Well, do they? Huh? 1.06pm: "I notice that in the printed edition of the Guardian on Saturday, Arsenal's injury list was so huge that the details couldn't be fitted on the page and you were reduced to saying '8 players injured'," notes Tony Attwood, in an email that I'd really better put in now because it won't really work after the teams have been announced. "Actually its more like ten injured and two on holiday, but leaving the argument over the extent of some players malfunctioning, the fact is Arsenal have run out of players. We can therefore expect Pat Rice to play at full back, and Vik Akers to be in midfield. I myself have just had a call to ask if I can play in the forward line on the grounds that like Arshavin I am five feet eight inches tall." 1.09pm: And here are those teams ! Campbell's in, and so is Fábregas, but evidence of Arsène Wenger's promised squad rotation in the shape of Francis Coquelin, among others. And Frimpong – why isn't every footballer called Frimpong? Sure, it would be confusing. But funny. Stoke: Sorensen, Huth, Shawcross, Higginbotham, Collins, Delap, Whitehead, Whelan, Etherington, Sidibe, Fuller. Subs: Simonsen, Lawrence, Beattie, Pugh, Diao, Sanli, Wilkinson. Arsenal: Fabianski, Coquelin, Campbell, Silvestre, Traoré, Eastmond, Denilson, Fábregas, Walcott, Emmanuel-Thomas, Vela. Subs: Mannone, Rosicky, Eduardo, Ramsey, Arshavin, Bartley, Frimpong. Referee: Martin Atkinson (W Yorkshire) 1.17pm: I'm not going to complain about ITV's football coverage, not unless something really bad happens, but have you noticed how the announcer always tries to sneak in two plugs before every programme? So it's not: "And now, Stoke v Arsenal!", it's "Dancing on Ice is at 6.35 and now, Stoke v Arsenal!" It's cheating, and I don't like it. 1.20pm: "You say 'Yeah, you might prefer a Snickers or a Daim, but do they actually explode, harmlessly but entertainingly, in your mouth? Well, do they? Huh?', but I doubt you've convinced anyone," writes Robin Hazlehurst. "I've been trying a similar line on ladies for years and it's never worked for me." 1.26pm: The teams are out! The perfect opportunity, then, for yet another ad break! 1min: Peeep! They're off! ITV are very much pushing the brawlers-against-artisans line. Me, I'd like to see what Arsène Wenger would do if he discovered that Traoré could arrow in deadly accurate 40-yard throw-ins. 2min: GOAL! Stoke City 1 Arsenal 0! Ricardo Fuller, direct from Rory Delap's first long throw! 3mins: It's just rubbish defending. I don't know who was supposed to be marking Fuller (not Campbell, though, in case you're wondering), but Fabianski should have got to the ball first and made that irrelevant. Fuller ran 12 yards in the time Fabianski took to shuffle forward about two. Useless. Arsenal conceded two goals from Delap throw-ins here last season, and don't seep any nearer to working them out. 8mins: A perfect start for Stoke and, probably, for the neutral. And a very deft header from Fuller, to be fair. Arsenal are really rattled, though Fabianski successfully claimed Delap's second long throw. 12mins: Arsenal are all over the place, still. For all their supposed passing prowess, they're mainly booting the ball out of play at the moment. Coquelin's last two passes, neither under any pressure, have gone nowhere near a teammate. 19mins: Stoke continue to look very comfortable. Arsenal have had one half-chance, the ball cleared off Vela's toe with Stoke unaccountably winning a goal kick. Eight men behind the ball at all times, and more often than not nine, when Arsenal have possession. 22mins: "Shouldn't Arsenal's fans pay the price of a reserve match ticket for this game with maybe a couple of quid extra for the hour Cesc is on the pitch?" asks Gary Naylor. And Stoke's fans? They would probably have been expecting Arsenal to field a side good enough to give them a game... 25mins: Sidibe wildly miskicks when Fuller rolls the ball into his path in the penalty area. "Managers should announce their selection policy before TV makes its decision and fans theirs about whether to bother with the match," continues Gary Naylor. "Arsene wants to win, but not enough to field a full-strength starting XI – he should tell us that in advance." Maybe, but I think the decision to televise this match (or any ho-hum all-Premier League match-up) was pretty misguided, and gets (got/is getting) what it deserves. 32mins: Arsène Wenger's getting plenty of support for his decision to rest half a team here, and rightly – it's a) up to him anyway, b) not exactly out of character, and c) entirely understandable given Arsenal's existing injury problems and their position in the league. The Gunners have been passing it around quite happily for the last few minutes, without really getting anywhere as yet. 35mins: Decent penalty claim, after Sivlestre takes away Fuller's legs but the striker goes down theatrically. A more realistic tumble would surely have earned a penalty (and deserved one, more pertinently). "Who looked happier when the goal went in, Pulis or Wenger?" asks Robin Hazlehurst. "Have Arsenal reserves defence spent the week practising impressions of the Red Sea faced by Moses so that they can get out of this silly little cup nonsense and back to proper matches asap?" There's no suggestion that Arsenal wouldn't be perfectly happy to win, I don't think. Just that they're not going to go out of their way to make sure they do. 38mins: It doesn't seem to be raining, but the touchline camera on the near side is absolutely soaking. Every time they cut to it there's more water on the lens and they have to cut right away again. It seems to be suffering in a uniquely focused microclimate down there. 40mins: Has anyone else noticed how Arsenal's tyro full-back Coquelin sounds quite a lot like coq-au-vin? Have any other footballers been named after their country's national dish? 42mins: GOAL! Stoke 1 Arsenal 1 (Denilson) Arsenal score via a slight deflection and a ludicrous, should-never-have-been-given free-kick! 45mins: It came when Fábregas flicked the ball up and into the body of Whitehead, not two yards away. I'm far from sure that it hit his hand, and pretty certain there couldn't have been any intent, but the referee gave it anyway, Fábregas rolled the ball square to Denilson and his 20-yard shot is deflected – though not much, to be fair – and rolls past Sorensen. Should probably have been saved, but shouldn't have happened in the first place. 45+1mins: There'll be two minutes of stoppage time here, and Stoke are hanging on right now. Half-time: OK, it did hit Whitehead's arm. But I'm sticking to the lack of intent. Anyway, Stoke have 15 minutes to brood over the perceived injustice, as indeed do we. Half-time thoughts: Arsenal were really ruffled by that early goal, and took the best part of half an hour to get into the game at all. They've created next to nothing, could have conceded a penalty, and were lucky to get the free-kick they scored from. Funny old game, innit? As for footballers named after their country's national dish, Nicholas John reports an Israeli named Ronen Felafel who played for Beitar Jerusalem in the 1980s. "Well, Lothar Matteus is rather a sour kraut," quips Gary Naylor. More, I hope, to come... 2.30pm: OK, I'm bowing to public pressure and retrospectively downgrading my post-goal indignation from a level 9 to a level 6. I still think the free-kick was a bit harsh, but you do see them given, as they say. It hit the lad's arm, after all. 46mins: Peeep! And they're off! Again! 47mins: The national dish-themed footballer debate has seen votes for both Darren and Tony Currie and Middlesbrough's Italian flop Massimo Maccarone. "You mention Ronen Felafel as a footballer named after his country's national dish," rages Michael Little. "Felafel is a Palestinian dish. Ronen Felafel would qualify as a footballer named after the national dish of the country his nation had colonised." Crikey, let's not even go there. 48mins: Sol Campbell, by the way, has been excellent. He has absolutely not looked out of place in this company (he writes, as he blatantly shoves Ricardo Fuller and concedes a free-kick). 50mins: "Hey Simon, how about Bolton's Fabrice Muamba?" writes David Hilmy. "Muamba de galinha (chicken in a palm nut sauce) is the national dish of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, as well as Gabon and Angola." I just don't have time to check these facts, so I'm just believing what everyone tells me (though I had my fingers burned by some fibbing emailers on a cricket over-by-over once). 51mins: Fabianski flaps wildly at another long-throw but the referee gives a free-kick for a fairly mysterious infringement against him. Maybe, now he's started snapping up ageing pros, it should be Wenger who goes in for David James this week? 52mins: Fábregas produces a swirling 30-yarder that Sorensen pushes over the bar. 53mins: "Boro and Sunderland 1960s centre half, Dickie Rooks... staple diet of lots of farmers up on the moors," writes Mike Ollier. Me, I've no more heard of a Dickie Rooks as a Muamba de Galinha. 57mins: Fuller steals the ball from Silvestre and thumps a shot over the bar from 20-odd yards when he might have passed. 60mins: A much better half this. Eduardo's just had a half-chance which he shot across goal from a narrow angle, but off target. Of course, Ravanelli means "radishes" in Italian, but I don't think that they've quite pipped pizza and pasta as Italy's greatest dish quite yet. 63mins: Coquelin stretches a leg to reach Sidibe's cross, and diverts it maybe six inches wide of his own goal. 65mins: Etherington crosses low, Fabianski dives over the ball and it rolls harmlessly across his goal. So, it's surely getting on for the time we find out exactly how much Arsène Wenger doesn't want a replay? 67mins: Looks like an Eduardo/Arshavin/Ramsey-flavoured triple substitution for the Gunners. Emmanuel-Thomas, Coquelin and a very disappointing Theo Walcott leave the field. 71mins: Delap is played through, but is slow enough for Silvestre to catch him up and clear the ball. Delap, stretching for it, catches the defender who is now on the ground being treated, Arsenal having no substitutions remaining of course. "Sebastian Schweinsteiger's last name translates as pig-climber," writes Shannon Campbell. "Not necessarily eating related, but perhaps we can expand to national pastimes?" Now this is dangerously close to the jingoistic, borderline-offensive national-stereotype-continuing debate that some pre-emptively accused me of starting some time ago. 73mins: Brilliant tackle from Higginbotham denies Vela a certain goal, after Ramsey's excellent pass. And obviously Eduardo didn't have a half-chance on 60mins. He wasn't on the pitch at the time. I don't know who it was. I think it must have been Vela, in hindsight. Sorry. I'm very busy. And quite stupid. 76mins: Now Stoke are readying a triple substitution of their own, with Arsenal having the better of the last 10, really quite fun minutes. "The current England cricket team contains the subliminal message to Cook Swann & Onions," adds Paul Swift. 78mins: GOAL! Stoke 2 Arsenal 1 (Fuller) Sidibe gets the ball on the half-way line and pegs it down the right wing, with Denilson strangely finding himself a makeshift full-back, and Fuller heads in his excellent cross. 80mins: The referee just tripped Fàbregas, and gave Arsenal a free-kick. Sidibe was close enough to get the blame. 80mins: The Spaniard shoots low and it's heading wide until Silvestre gets a boot on it, level with the far post, eight yards from goal. He spears the ball wide (though wanted a corner, so it might not have been such a terrible miss). 83mins: All game Rory Delap has spent about 30 seconds polishing the ball with a towel every time Stoke get a throw in. How they played only two minutes of stoppage time in the first half when he was single-handedly responsible for about five is beyond me. "When Stoke play away, could the home team put the ball in a bucket of water every time Rory Delap comes he comes to take a long-throw?" ponders The Highbury Outcast. 84mins: How the first half, so slow and lacking in quality, begat this action-packed second is quite beyond me. Still, I'm not complaining. Ramsey lashes a shot way high from Vela's low centre. "Harry Haddock made 6 appearances for Scotland in the 1950s," reports Jon Matthews, "and you know how they like it deep fried." 85mins: GOAL! Stoke 3 Arsenal 1 (Whitehead) So that's it, then. Dean Whitehead's first ever Stoke goal, just a minute after a double substitution. Tuncay, who just came on for Fuller, wins the ball, Etherington crosses from the left and Whitehead, only just level with the last man, taps in. 88mins: Tuncay has a goal disallowed, rightly, for handball though everyone gets very excited for a while. 90+2mins: Pugh comes on for Etherington. The fight's gone out of Arsenal now. 90+5mins: It's all over. So that's three of last season's Premier League top four out of the Cup. It seems odd to say the game took a while to get going, given that the first goal came 70 seconds in, but that's the way it was. Bad news for Arsenal, other than their elimination from the FA Cup (which I suspect they'll get over pretty quickly) has to be the fact that the only Englishman on show who looked of anything like international quality was the 35-year-old Sol Campbell in defence and not the 20-year-old Theo Walcott in midfield. Post-match thoughts: If Arsenal's team sheet didn't convince us that they wanted to win this game, their substitutions did. Stoke had the better of the first half, at the end of which they were drawing 1-1, while the second was much more even and a great deal more entertaining, and Stoke won that 2-0. You've got to admire Tony Pulis's side. For all their fairly dysmal reputation they don't play terrible football, and at moments (the second goal, for a start) they're genuinely excellent. On chances created if nothing else, they deserved this. Thanks, then, for your virtual company and contributions. Enjoy what's left of your weekend, and if you're still online why not spend some of it in the company of the Scunthorpe v Man City-following John Ashdown here . Byee!