Didn't he used to be rubbish? Chris Killen of New Zealand

The 28-year-old Kiwi is an old-fashioned target man – though only in the sense that many supporters of the clubs he's played for would like to throw things at him. A product of the Manchester City youth academy, Killen joined Oldham Athletic for £250,000 but under-performed so spectacularly that when he criticised the club following a free transfer to Hibernian the managing director pointed out that Killen had cost the club £36,000 per goal and £13,000 a game. The then manager, Ronnie Moore, said: "He should be on his hands and knees saying, 'Thank you very much.' " He joined Celtic in August 2007 and got his first goal at Celtic Park a mere 25 months later. Now at Middlesbrough, where his plank-like displays have had locals pining for overseas goal-machines of the past such as Hamilton Ricard and Mikkel Beck. Blessed with the mobility of a roundabout, Killen's record in international football – 11 goals in 31 games – looks impressive until you learn that four came in a 9-1 thrashing of Papua New Guinea and another three against Vanuatu, a pair of football minnows so tiny they make Liechtenstein look like a blue whale. Harry Pearson