Dr Gerry Mander: the therapist the stars trust

Dear Dr Mander As chancellor of the exchequer, it is my duty to inflict massive cuts to public services. I thought this would be more fun if I invited lots of people to join in. So I announced a big deficit-reducing consultation, where people can nominate parts of the state to be axed. It would be something like the Notting Hill carnival, except with derelict libraries instead of brightly coloured floats and dole queues instead of soca dancers. The problem is that no one wants to come. Some cynics have even suggested it is a PR stunt. People can be so cruel! I have persuaded my coalition partner to get involved and, after some initial reservations, he has turned into quite an enthusiastic slasher. But I want something more grand – a deficit-reduction ball. What can I do to get people on board? George Dear George Britain is mostly a tolerant country, accepting of what consenting coalition partners get up to in the privacy of the cabinet room. But you are asking a lot, expecting people to embrace your austerity package in public. Users of services often feel uncomfortable discussing the size of their state in company and recoil at talk of a reduction. Many parties are thrown not to please the guests but to flatter the host. Is that, perhaps, the case here? Do you want this consultation so that you can hear people's views or get them to endorse your own? Is it conversation you are after or affection? Cutting deficits is a painful business. Most people don't go in for it voluntarily. Making them ask for it looks sadistic. On that point, I'm a little worried about your relationship with your coalition partner. You say he now enjoys slashing spending, but are you sure he hasn't been bullied into it? Maybe he only goes along with your fiscal fetish because his sense of political self-worth comes from the attention he gets from you. Machiavelli said that it is better to be feared than loved. Love wanes; fear can be renewed. In your situation, the best you can hope for is grudging respect for doing a grim job. But only if you take responsibility for it yourself. Dear Dr Mander Ever since I was a boy, I have wanted to be leader of the Labour party. I have thought of standing many times in recent years, but chose not to. It wasn't that I dithered, just that the circumstances were never right. And now, just when I'm sure my moment has arrived, who should join the race but my own little brother. I love him dearly. But competing with him will make it harder for me to establish a distinct narrative for my vision of non-technocratic, neo-horizontally post-hierarchical "Next Labour". Why can't he see that it's my turn? David Dear David You couch your anxiety in terms of sibling rivalry, but I detect the early symptoms of an entirely different problem – Brown's syndrome. This is the sense of frustrated entitlement that builds up in a politician when he has waited too long to be party leader. It infects a candidate's personality, eating away at his charisma, making him risk-averse, dour and humourless. If untreated it can lead to chronic chippiness. Yours sounds like a fairly mild case. Relax, steer clear of thinktanks and jargon for a while – or at least limit your intake – and it should clear up in a few weeks. Dear Dr Mander I am the most gifted footballer of my generation, but I have a foul temper. I should be heading for World Cup glory, but worry I will go down in red card shame instead. Wayne Dear Wayne Fear not. There is a rich tradition of England football stars crashing out in a red mist. And if you are sent off before the end of a crucial game you will be saved from joining another great England football tradition – missing a penalty. Dr Gerry Mander shares his consulting room with Rafael Behr