From Stacey Solomon to Purple Turtle, this week's winners and losers

Warning of the week X Factor contestants might like to note that last year's third-placer Stacey Solomon treads the boards tonight … alongside John Coghlan's Status Quo, A Night Of Queen, X Simple Minds etc. Ouch. Upton Festival 2010, Fish Meadow, Upton upon Severn, Worcestershire. Audience demographic of the week "We'd get to frightening towns in the middle of nowhere and every Guardian reader in that town would be in the audience!" See you next time round, Stewart Lee. Map of the week Website map.rapgenius.com – "mapping the gangsta terrain of the planet" It's not where you're from, it's where you're geo-tagged. Dilemma of the week Nick Mohammed's inquisition of Caprice on BBC3's The King Is Dead, "Who's the worst person who's ever gone to prison ... Nelson Mandela or Gandhi?" Offend-mum-and-dad-Camden gigs of the week Will it be Devourment, Human Mincer, Putridity and Embryonic Depravity at the Underworld, Saturday? Or Desecration, Infestation, Fleshrot, Gorebound and Decrepit Womb at the Purple Turtle, Sunday? Ballerina of the week Natalie Portman is dancing her Repettos off in Black Swan, Aronofsky's freaky ballet chiller. Trailer up now at foxsearchlight.com/blackswan twitter.com/guideguardian guardianguide.tumblr.com • This article was amended on 31 August 2010. The original referred to the Upton Festival, Fish Meadow, Winchester. This has been corrected.