From Kick-Ass to Robbie Williams, this week's winners and losers

Topical appearance of the week Tiger Woods got the South Park treatment last night as scientists tried to end the phenomenon of rich men who suddenly want to sleep around. Respect my privacy! Underachievement of the week Robbie Williams 's Sport Relief single – in with a bullet at number 60. How long before we get a charity single to save the charity single? Punchy superhero film that does what it says on the tin of the week Kick-Ass. It really does! Return of the week FlashForward returns (Mon, 9pm, Five). Because there's still a tiny bit of our brains that hasn't been melted on Lost island. Darkest sitcom pilot of the week Julia Davis teams up with Jessica Hynes in Lizzie & Sarah (Sat, 11.45pm, BBC2). Don't say you weren't warned. It's Out There, But We're Not Going Looking For It Holy Fuck are streaming a new track on online onanism exchange Chat Roulette. Insert 'there's a 12" on my laptop' gag here. Casting call of the week Transformers 3 is looking for "athletic Iranian looking military guys" to play extras. Please don't turn it into Gulf War 3, guys. Acronym of the week AMSA – Australian Men's Shed Association who put up sheds for depressed and lonely men. (Shed Men, Fri, 8pm, BBC World Service). twitter.com/guideguardian