Westminster digested

Cameron: I want to remind all you bankers that we're all in this together. Bankers: More cake, Dave old bean? Cameron: It would be a poor show if you helped yourself to massive bonuses when I had to cancel my Christmas holiday as Coulson said it would give the wrong message to the little people. Osborne: Didn't stop me! Bankers: One yacht or two? Cameron: I feel pretty bloody strongly about this chaps. Don't forget it was taxpayers' money that bailed you out. Osborne: Well not mine, obviously. My trust fund is offshore, Cams. Bankers: You guys finished yet? Cameron: So we're quite clear where we all stand? Bankers: Absolutely! Business as usual. Knew we could rely on you, old boy. Cameron: Well I think we bloody well told them what's what, Ozzy. Osborne: Too right! What do you think, Politician-formerly-known-as-Vince? Cable: We've come down really hard. Cameron: That's the spirit. Cable: What am I doing here? My name is Vince, I used to be a serious politician. Milidee: You've let them get away with it just like we did. Alan Johnson: Yeah and I bet you're not even going to make them pay tax. Milidee: Or National Insurance. Johnson: What's that? Milidee: Something a bit like VAT? Johnson: What's that? Cameron: What a relief! An opposition that's as clueless as us. Clegg: Daddy, Daddy! Please come and hold my hand. Everyone in Oldham says they really hate me and will never vote for me again. Osborne: I'm pretty sure it's not just the people of Oldham . . . Cameron: Easy, Ozzy. We're trying to make the Cleggster feel good about himself. Clegg: Oh, Daddy, I feel so useless. Osborne: That's because you are. Cameron: Be brave, Cleggster. Look on it as taking one for the team. Simon Hughes: It does always seem to be the Lib Lemmings taking one for the team . . . Cameron: Just bugger off to Oldham. Hughes: Yes sir. My name is Simon Hughes, I was once a serious politician. Oldham: We don't like you . . . Hughes: We may not have communicated our tuition fees policy very well. Oldham: On the contrary. Cameron: Time to vote everyone! Oldham: What a choice! The unpleasant, the untrustworthy or the incompetent.