All the president's emails

To: Vladimir Putin <[email protected]> Subject: your nine friends First off, I'm not going to let this sidetrack negotiations, so don't worry, but I just want you to know that I know that you know that these people are not just nosey suburbanites with funny accents. I know this because one of your most trusted apparatchiks is actually a guy I used to play basketball with in college. I'm not going to tell you which one he is, but if you were to shout "Heads up, Kenny!" in the middle of a cabinet meeting you might be surprised who turns around. If you can find him, I'll trade you for the pretty red-haired one. BHO To: David Cameron <[email protected]> Subject: Re: good to meet you Yeah, me too. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but up until the G20 thing I always thought you were the other guy, the one who was so good in the debates. Whatever happened to him? The answer to your question is: surprisingly expensive, even for a helicopter. I think it's all the bulletproofing. If you still want to order one, you can use my presidential discount. Barack. To: George W Bush <[email protected]> Subject: Re: worst presidents poll - omg I suck!!! Hey, at least you didn't come last. Don't think of it in terms of being "worse than Nixon"; think of yourself as "better than Warren Harding and Franklin Pierce". Look at my ranking – 15th, not great. But after the year I've had, I'll take it. Barack To: Bill Clinton <[email protected]> Subject: Re: 13th – I'm ahead of you! Congratulations. Just wanted to say thanks for meeting Putin last week. It's a tricky time and I want to get relations back on track as quickly as possible. Did you see Kenny? Did you give him the Oreos? I can't believe you can't get them in Moscow. No wonder their spies love it here! Barack