All the president's emails

To: Robert Gibbs <[email protected]> Subject: Re: Rep Joe Barton's "apology" to BP — proposed WH statement Bob – OK, I accept we can't say "British Petroleum" in print, but when you read this to the press, try to say "BP" in a British accent. And where you describe me as "furious" that a Republican congressman would apologise to BP while accusing the White House of a shakedown – can you say "nauseated and outraged"? And earlier, in the Oval Office, when we were watching the testimony on C-SPAN, you might have seen me dancing wildly, clapping and saying something about how the Republicans had handed us an immeasurable political advantage by siding with the bad guy. I just want to clarify that that was my "nauseated and outraged" dance. Got it? Great. BHO To: BP Group CEO Tony Hayward <[email protected]> Subject: Your testimony on the Hill yesterday First, get a grip on your appearance: you looked worse than Biden after that Las Vegas bender with Christopher Hitchens where he got locked out of their twin room after a misunderstanding over a casino hostess. Second, I believe you owe me $20bn? Better sort this out fast, or Rahm might feel the need to get his old nunchucks out and pay you a visit. And if he does – well, to quote a certain Mr T Hayward, I simply wasn't involved in that decision-making process . . . Chin up old boy, Barack To: Sasha Obama <[email protected]> Subject: Re: BUT WHY??? Because I'm your father and I say so. I'm all for encouraging your interest in soccer, but I've work to do, and besides, the noise makes my Secret Service detail jump every time they hear it. It's going to stay confiscated. x Dad To: Malia Obama <[email protected]> Subject: Re: Vuvuzelas Not you too – are you trying to argue with, excuse me, THE PRESIDENT, and a trained constitutional law professor to boot, that my decision to confiscate that vuvuzela is executive-agency overreach prohibited under Article Two of the US constitution? Dad PS. If it is, I'll just declare a state of emergency or something. PPS. "When the president does it, that means it's not illegal" – Richard Nixon