All the president's emails

To: Leon Panetta <[email protected]> Subject: Re: The woodpecker has flown the nest, and the Maltese trombonist has found her suitcase ;-) TOP SECRET ENCRYPTED MESSAGE Um… Leon, you realise the spy swap is front-page news across America, right? There's really no need to talk in coded language all the time. I know you've got this whole "superspy" thing going on, but I think you'd do a better job as CIA director if you'd just read the papers sometimes, maybe watch a little CNN, that sort of thing. OK? Barack PS. Word to the wise – writing "top secret encrypted message" in the subject line of your emails doesn't have any effect. That's not how the internet works. To: VPOTUS <[email protected]> Subject: Re: The sparrow has flown the bird-feeder, but the eggs are safe Oh, not you too. Or – wait, are you speaking in code, or referring to the ornithology project you've been conducting on your office windowsill recently? If the latter, please carry on. It's been great to see you so absorbed in something. Though I'm amazed we've been able to carry on running the country without you!! Seriously. It's fine. No, I mean really. Keep going with the birdwatching. BHO To: Michelle Obama <[email protected]> Subject: Re: Have you SEEN Palin's new campaign video? It's being really well received. Here's the link. . . . Aaaand that's another day ruined. Damn. I had high hopes of making it until at least noon without being driven to despair about the state of American political debate. Thanks. xxB To: David Axelrod <[email protected]> Subject: Re: Re: Netanyahu's comments No, no, I totally agree this new super-friendly handshakey approach is the one we need to adopt in public. But he called it a "special relationship"! You've got to get him to stop. David Cameron (British PM – guy who replaced Blair) has some kind of Google Alert set up on that phrase and he'll be on the phone, whining in his Welsh accent about how it's only the UK that gets to have a "special relationship" with us. Don't get me wrong, he whines very politely. But it's SO ANNOYING. Barack