All the president's emails

To: Hillary Clinton <[email protected]> Subject: Re: Plan C Sorry about Plan B, but I think it's impolitic for the President of the United States to phone a raving mad, pig-ignorant Florida preacher to ask him not to burn 200 Qur'ans, especially if the guy then goes ahead and does it anyway. So, Plan C: if you think you can arrange for a Blackhawk to fly over and dump water all over the bonfire, fine. Do we need legal justification, or can it just be a fun federal prank? B. To: Fidel Castro <[email protected]> Subject: Fw: "Fidel Castro Wants To Be Friends On Facebook" Sir: First you criticize Ahmadinejad, then you admit communism doesn't work, and now this. It feels like the beginning of a beautiful friendship! Seriously, though, the Facebook page is just some PR thing my campaign people started. I haven't looked at it in months. Let's keep our new dialogue quiet until after the midterm elections. In the meantime, I'll get Chrysler to send you 20,000 new SUVs as a humanitarian thing. Nobody here can afford them anyway. Warmly, Barack. To: Rahm Emanuel <rahm.emanuel3@ gmail.com> Subject: Re: So Daley is stepping down . . . Yes, Rahm, I think you'd make a great mayor of Chicago. I'll hate to lose you, but it's a tremendous opportunity, so I'm OK with you resigning after the elections, if that's what you decide. One question: any chance of you resigning before the elections? I just think appointing someone really cool to your job might help us out at the polls. Any suggestions? No pressure, honestly. B. To: VPOTUS <[email protected]> Subject: Re: Plan C Hey Joe, in answer to your question about whether it's disrespectful to get 200 copies of the Qur'an wet, I can only say I HAVE NO FRIGGING IDEA BECAUSE I'M NOT A MUSLIM. Why are you even asking me? Anyway, last I heard – fingers crossed – the whole thing had been called off. I hope Hillary remembered to cancel that helicopter. Barack