All the president's emails: Jon Stewart, Peter Rouse and Bill Clinton

To: Jon Stewart <jon.stewart @comedycentral.com> Subject: Re: POTUS guest appearance – modes of address Come on, Jon: "Sir" is pretty stiff, I know, but it's the form these days. I'll let you have one "dude" (it's funny, because I'm president), but my protocol people aren't going to back down on "B", "Bromander-in-chief" or "dawg". It's the dignity of the office that's undermined, apparently. Barack. To: Peter Rouse, chief of staff <[email protected]> Subject: Re: Last-ditch strategies Thanks, Pete. I agree we need to remind people what we've actually achieved these last two years, but I don't think voters really grasp the economics of the Troubled Asset Relief Program, and "TARP funds largely repaid – net final cost to be less than originally expected" isn't much of a slogan. It won't even fit on a goddamn placard. I had this other idea, but then I forgot what it was. Not getting much sleep these days. Barack To: Bill Clinton <[email protected]> Subject: Re: I was only trying to help Bill – remember that conversation we had during the last campaign? About how even though I really appreciate your help, it isn't actually helping? I think this thing in Florida sort of comes under that heading. It's not that I mind your backroom involvement in a tricky senatorial contest where our guy is running a poor third. Nor do I mind you secretly trying to convince our guy to drop out in order to prevent some Tea Party nut job taking the seat. What I mind is the part where everybody finds out about it. Can you please, for the country's sake, be more cool? BHO To: Peter Rouse, chief of staff <[email protected]> Subject: I remembered! OK, so you know that octopus, Paul or something, who predicted the World Cup final? Can we spread a story that his last prediction before he died was "Democrats to stage comeback in US midterm elections"? Sorry, that doesn't seem that brilliant now that I've written it down – with our luck he'll probably turn up alive on Monday to deny everything. Have a nice weekend, anyway. B